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Collider Jokes

Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down?

They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.
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Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."
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What if someone were to steal the Large Hadron Collider?

It would be a matter of 'great con-CERN'.
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Why did the physicist at the Hadron Collider get thrown in jail?

Because he was a mass murderer
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Why is it difficult to make fun of the Large Hadron Collider?

Because it's hard to discern.
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What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?

Higg no rants
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If we could put bread in a particle collider...

We could discover new quarks and glutons.
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LHC (Large Hadron Collider)

When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.
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What do you call

What do you call a Sumo fight between two guys with erections?

"Large Hardon Collider"
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do physicists call their penis?

A hard-on collider.

I once put rum and pineapple into CERN's particle accelerator

Discovered the Piña Collider
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What's the only thing that can pleasure a supermassive black hole?

A Large Hard-on Collider
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to create a machine that would smash two boners together at nearly the speed of light.

I'll call it the Large Hard-on Collider

Nuclear Physicist Bartender

How did Nuclear Physicist mix drinks at his party?

With a Piña Collider.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I heard they built a gayporn production facility on the CERN-compound...

Apparently it's called the "Large Hardon Collider".

I just found out about this underground science ring

It's called the Large Hadron Collider
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