Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

What if someone were to steal the Large Hadron Collider?

It would be a matter of 'great con-CERN'.

Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down?

They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.

Your mamma’s so fat

She uses the large hadron collider as a hula hoop

Why did the physicist at the Hadron Collider get thrown in jail?

Because he was a mass murderer

Why is it difficult to make fun of the Large Hadron Collider?

Because it's hard to discern.

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?

Higg no rants

LHC (Large Hadron Collider)

When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.

If we could put bread in a particle collider...

We could discover new quarks and glutons.

I once put rum and pineapple into CERN's particle accelerator

Discovered the Piña Collider

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do physicists call their penis?

A hard-on collider.

What do you call

What do you call a Sumo fight between two guys with erections?

"Large Hardon Collider"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend works as a scientist where they have a giant underground ring which smashes cocktails together at very high speeds...

...it's called the Pina Collider.

What's the only thing that can pleasure a supermassive black hole?

A Large Hard-on Collider

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to create a machine that would smash two boners together at nearly the speed of light.

I'll call it the Large Hard-on Collider

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I heard they built a gayporn production facility on the CERN-compound...

Apparently it's called the "Large Hardon Collider".

Nuclear Physicist Bartender

How did Nuclear Physicist mix drinks at his party?

With a Piña Collider.

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