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Job Centre Jokes

A dog goes to the Job Centre

A dog goes to the job centre and asked for assistance in finding employment.

The employee at the Job Centre says "Bloody hell! A talking dog! You should get a job at the circus!"

The dog replies "Why's that? Are they after a plumber?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scouser walked into the job centre.

A scouser walked into the local job centre to pick up his dole cheque
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know; I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening...

A bloke goes into the job centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a gynaecologist’s assistant; intrigued, he goes in to find out more…

‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he says to the guy behind the desk.

The job centre guy sorts through his files and replies, ‘Ah yes, I've had quite a few enquiries about this one; the job involves you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist – you have to help them out of ...

A chinese man walks into a job centre

A chinese man walks into a job centre, the person asks him "can you work in a shop?" the chinese man says "no no, can't work in shop" the person says "can you work in a restaurant?" the chinese man says "no no, can't work in restaurant" The person says "are you any good at supplies then"

The...

If I had a pound for every time I went to the job centre...

I'd be able to afford another pack of cigarettes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a group of virgins waiting in line at the job centre?

An untapped resource

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I saw a job advertised as a fanny waxers assistant"

Job includes; removing ladies knickers, prepare fanny for waxing and rub oil in after waxing. When i asked at the job centre, they said i had to go to Cornwall. I said, "why is that where the job is?" No they said, "thats where the fucking back of the queue is!!"

A Job Wanted

A dog walks into a job centre, goes up to the woman at the desk and says, 'Good afternoon, miss. I'm looking for work.'
The woman looks up, amazed, and says, 'Good heavens, a talking dog! Er... well, let's try the circus in town. I'll give them a ring.'
The dog says, 'The circus? What on earth...

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