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Irn Jokes

How do you scare a Scotsman?

With Irn-Boo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Glaswegian joke that can be applied anywhere.

Three pieces of tarmac (asphalt for Americans) are in the pub at the end of the day.
One says, "I'm on the Great Western Road. You wouldn't believe what I have to go through every day! Cars, endless traffic, congestion, it'll make you pure mental!"
The next one says, "You think you're in a bad...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are the only survivors of a plane crash in the desert

Though the ordeal has bonded them like brothers they're all now dying of thirst. It looks like it's all over until they find a magic lamp!

"I'll give each of you two wishes," says the genie.

The Englishman knows exactly what he wants. "I wish for a pint of ice cold lager and to be back...

The Seagull and The Octopus

There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...

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