What is the best adjective to describe somebody who incessantly makes puns?

PUN-gent!

^^^I'm ^^^sorry

What do you call a monkey that incessantly bothers people

A harangutan

Did you hear about the guy who died from having to listen to his wife's incessant talking?

He was sentenced to death.

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A man begins to hear a voice in his head,

quiet, but insistent, it repeats urgently, "Sell your house, take all your money, go to Las Vegas." The man ignores it at first, he sees a therapist, does yoga and eats kale, but nothing stops the voice from repeating the same sentence, "Sell your house, take all your money, go to Las Vegas."
...

Hey, Hans!

During World War I, the Germans and the Americans are engaged in trench warfare. There's a lull in the fighting due to lack of supplies on both sides.

One of the Americans, bored with the lack of action, turns to his buddy and says, "hey, what's a common German name?"

His buddy replies...

A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh prawns

A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh prawns, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the window.

After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It"s disgusting to watch.". "Listen love." He...

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all," the woman replied.

The man picked the dog up ...

Best medicine

Patient approached a doctor for incessant cough and doctor prescribed laxative.

Assistant to doctor. Sir, you gave him laxative for cough.
Doctor: Yes, and now he'd think twice before coughing.

The Drums Must Not Stop

A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.

The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink ...

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A father and his son go into a convenience store.

The father purchases a 6 pack of beer and and pack of cigarettes. The son begs his father to buy him a scratch off lottery ticket, and after some incessant pleading the father agrees.

They return to their car and the father lights up a cigarette. The son asks can I have one of those? The fat...

Moth Joke

A moth goes into a dietitian's office looking very unwell.


The dietitian goes, "What seems to be the problem?"


The moth replies, "Where to start, doc? Each day I wake up at 6:00 a.m. next to a moth wife I once loved, who I have slowly drifted away from over the days. Her once...

An old couple is travelling in Israel

The wife incessantly nags her husband through out the trip, until unfortunately she has a heart attack and passes. The coroner tells the husband, "it will cost you $500 to bury her here, or $5000 to take her body back to America." The husband tells the coroner that he will take her body back to Amer...

The Farmer and the Monk

A young farmhand was once unfortunate enough to share a room at the inn with an old monk, who talked incessantly from evening's light to morning glow about matters of philosophy and science. Bored of the one-sided conversation, the monk soon proposed a challenge of wits.


The farmhand was ...

A joke my mommy told me :)

Once there was a woman sitting in the doctor's office, complaining of incessant gas. She says to the doctor.

"I've been having silent farts all day. I had one in the harris teeter, one in church and...um, one right now."

The doctor replied, "I think you need to get your hearing check...

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New dog crossbreeds announced.

Collie + Lhasa Apso - Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.

Pointer + Setter - Poinsetter, the traditional Christmas pet.

Pekingese + Lhasa Apso - Peekasso, an abstract dog.

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel - Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as mou...

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A young man gets lost in the desert...

... with little more than his clothes and camel. After several days of incessant walking he realizes that he will never make it out of there and that it is better to enjoy his last days alive. As a last wish he would like to have sex one last time, and as there isn't any other option it has to be wi...

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Spike & The Parrot.

A woman called a dishwasher repairman. Since she had to go to work, she told him she would leave the key under the mat and for him to
leave his bill on the counter and she would send him a check. "Don't worry about my Dobberman Spike. He won't bother you, but, whatever you do, do not, under any ...

A young man is in court.

He's driving everyone mad with his loud and incessant chewing.

The judge looks over and says "For the love of God man would you stop masticating"

To which he replies in a panicked voice "I wasn't, I wasn't, I swear, I just had my hands in my pockets"

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