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Ho Ho Ho Jokes

When does Santa Claus say ho ho ho?

When he walks into a room and sees your mother, sister, and wife

Ho ho ho!

But that's enough about the Kardashians, merry Christmas everyone!

What do you call someone who dresses in red, has a long beard, and says ho ho ho?

A Pimp!

Santa walks into a bar and says, “HO HO HO!”

The bartender says, “oh sorry, we’re not that kind of establishment “

From behind me while walking downtown I heard a gentleman bellow, "Ho Ho Ho!"

I thought it was Santa Claus but I turned around and it was just a pimp taking inventory.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ho Ho Ho

In the spirit of the upcoming Holiday I would like to share a story my Father told me when I was a boy. He sat me on his knee and said:

Long ago on a snowy Christmas Eve Santa was out delivering toys to all the good kiddies. Like the many before this one it was all work, curdled milk and lame...

Job Fair I

I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants, but I had to give it up. There was no place to park.

Then I went to work for a company at prints calendars. But I knew from the start that my days were numbered.

So I went to work for a moving company. They told me to vacate the premis...

Why did Mrs. Clause cheat on Santa?

You'd think it's because she's a ho ho ho, but really he just wasn't present enough.

I asked Santa What he wanted for Christmas

He said, "I would like a gift from your Mother"

I asked why and all he said was "Ho Ho Ho"

I have a lot to unpack here.

Santa Claus gets captured and interrogated by the KGB

“You are a very suspicious man. Who did you say you are?”

“I’m Father Christmas.”

“Then who is this Santa?”

“Oh that’s also me, I have many names, ho ho ho!”

“So you are a spy then? And what kind of jet is that? It is not detectable by our radars.”

“You mean the sl...

Here's an immature Christmas joke my older brother told me when we were kids...

It's Christmas eve and Santa is delivering presents. In one house, a young woman is waiting for him when he climbs down the chimney. She says to him "Santa, will you stay?" And he says "Ho ho ho, Santa's gotta go, I got presents to deliver you know". "Well, if I take off my gown will you stay?" and ...

What does Santa say when he visits good pirates?

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!!


Made this one up when I was 5 or 6 and I’m still getting mileage out of it 30+ years later

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was standing on the edge of Golden gate bridge...

... contemplating suicide. Out of nowhere comes out Santa and asks the guy:

Ho ho ho, whats the matter son?

Guy replies:

It's too much for me. This life isn't worth living for...

S:

Well, son, tell me what's wrong, I'm Santa i make wishes come true.

G:
...

How did Santa Catch Herpes?

Too many ho ho hos.

Santa gets around a lot just like Ludacris.

He ho ho ho's in different area codes.

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