UPJOKE
nepaltibetnepalesehimalayashimalayakashmirmountainouspeninsulatibetanmountainmount everestindiadesertasiapakistan

Tonight we're having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner.

We found himalayan on the road.

The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed

The label says the expiry date is June 2018.

I'm so glad they dug it up just in time

Girl, our relationship is like a Himalayan pink salt lamp…

I don’t think it’s working, and I feel nothing.

I bought the 250 million year old pink Himalayan salt

Behind the package, on the label, it says that it expires in December 2022

"Tonight we're eating good" I said to my wife as I walked in the door, "I got us some Himalayan Hare."

"Now where did you get something like that?" She asked.
...
"Well," I explained, "I was walking down the road and I found Him-a-layin' right there!"

Where do you find a Himalayan cat?

You’ll find him-a-layin on the couch

What do you call a Himalayan cryptid that throws people from the side of the mountain?

A Yeeti

I had this new kind of meat the other day. It was Himalayan rabbit.

The only issue is, I found Himalayan on the road.

My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up

I always see Himalayan there.

An American hiker walks to the edge of a Himalayan cliff, determined to end it all.

As he stares down at the rocks below, he notices movement out of the corner of his eye. He glances over to see a Buddhist monk standing between two trees, beckoning him over.

With nothing to lose, the man shuffles over to the monk, who is holding a string of prayer flags. "You trying to talk...

Never hire a Himalayan contractor to work on your house...

I did, and I came home to Himalayan with my wife.

Bad himalayan joke

Me: *on edge of roof* no one likes my jokes

Cop: there’s still a lot to live for. tell me one of your jokes

Me: what do you call a rooster that produces eggs?

Cop: I don't know. What?

Me: himalayan

Cop: omg just jump

What’s the opposite of Himalayan Salt?

Herastandin Pepper

What do you call the study of Himalayan plants?

Bhutany.

I saw the expiration date was six months past.

Guess I waited too long to use the 250million year old Himalayan salt.

What breed of roosters lay eggs

Himalayan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

There were 3 men in a brothel. One going up the stairs, one in going down the stairs, and one in a room. What were their nationalities?

The man going up the stairs was Russian.

The man going down the stairs was Finnish.

And the man in the room, Himalayan.

Captain John McGrue was one of the most respected explorers

Born in England, he became known for his seafaring skills at a young age. At the age of 20, he heard the legends of the greatest drinks in the world, a quest many explorers had tried, but unfortunately none could complete the trip. McGrue was talked out of it by every friend, until at 28, already an...

I once went to climb Mount Everest...

... came across a local village farmer who said he had a rooster that could lay eggs.

I said, “How is that possible?”

He said, “Himalayan Rooster”

An old man told me about a brothel

I was sitting at a bar one evening and an old man walked in, sat down beside me and ordered a drink. After a few minutes he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out the window to a building on top of a hill.  "That's a brothel. You can tell the ethnicity of the men going there based on where they a...

What do you call a boy cat sleeping on a bed?

Himalayan.

*Be gentle. First post on here!

House of ill repute

There's a house of ill repute, up on a hill. There's a man going up the hill, there's a man coming down the hill and there's a man in the house.
What nationalities are they?

Man going up the hill- he's Russian

Man coming down the hill- he's Finnish

Man in the house- Himalayan

What do you call a possum laying in the middle of the road?

Clearly, that's a Himalayan possum.



After all, you did find Himalayan in the middle of the road...

What do you call a man taking a nap?

Himalayan

Why didn't the Tibetan girl trust her boyfriend?

Himalayan

What do you call a Sherpa making love to his wife?

Himalayan

(I wrote this and am sorry if it's racist)

Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner

After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"

"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other hillbilly scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"

"You know," the other says, gestu...

If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor?

Himalayan

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