Why did the heavyset mermaid wear a turtleneck?

So you wouldn't sea urchins!

An older, heavyset lady walks into a tattoo parlor.

She tells the artist that she wants Roy Orbison on the inside of her left thigh and Johnny Cash on the inside of her right thigh. After 4 painful hours, the artist rolls his chair back looking satisfied. She looks down and tells the artist that they just don't look right to her.

The artist g...

An Amish family goes to a mall for the first time

And of course they are overwhelmed. The man stands in front of an elevator, puzzled what this contraption may be. He watches a very heavyset woman enter it, the doors close and the elevator goes up, and as it returns, a young, beautiful woman emerges.

"What is that, Pa?", little Joshua wants...

I felt sorry for a very cold man and I invited him into my house to spend the night.

And what did he do? Peed all over my floor and left without saying a damn word!

If you see this guy, don't let him in. He's very pale, heavyset but his arms look like two sticks. Has two black eyes, smokes a corn cob pipe and wears a red scarf and a black top hat..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Guiseppe...

A man walks into a department store with his son. He's speaking to his young son with a thick Italian accent, and then suddenly exclaims "Guiseppe, with the BIG FAT HEAD!!" While slapping his son on the back of the head.

Bill, one of the workers there is absolutely shocked, and decides to app...

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