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Hairless Jokes

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I'm self conscious about my hairless butt cheeks...

I embarrassed

How do we know the moon is hairless?

The moon spends half the month waxing!

A hairless cat walks into a bar

He hops onto a seat and orders a drink. The bartender is surprised to see the cat is wearing an elegant mink coat, and further, that it is made to fit the size and shape of a cat.

The bartender says “That’s a mighty fine coat you’re wearing. I’ve never heard of coats made for cats, did you d...

"You should get a hairless cat."

Me texting friends: you should get a hairless cat.
Friends: why the hell would I do that?
Me: So you can name it chemo.

Bath night

A couple take in a beautiful young lady as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said...

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Beauty is just a matter of timing: In 1970s America I would’ve been ridiculed for having a hairless chest. In ancient Greece I would’ve been laughed at for having a big penis.

Still waiting for that bald future all those fucking sci-fi movies promised me.

There is one great thing about cancer

It does a fantastic job of getting rid of those weird hairless kids.

What do you call a bald girl whose bunny and parents just died?

A hairless hareless heiress.

Mrs. Schmidt hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair.

The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."

That night, Mrs. Schmidt tells her husband.

He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the b...

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Three Blind Men and an Elephant

The first blind man gropes around and feels the elephant's butthole, butt cheeks and tail. After a few minutes he declares an elephant is like a stinky pig. The second blind man gropes around and feels the elephant's testicles, and after rubbing them for a few minutes, declares the first man is wron...

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Smithers' Story

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said,

"You mu...

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Burnt Toast

A 14-year-old kid comes home from school crying after the first day of school. His mom asks what's wrong, and he says, "Today we took showers in gym class, and I noticed that compared to everyone else, my penis is small and I'm practically hairless! The other kids noticed, too, and they started to...

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