UPJOKE
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Glass In Jokes

Husband: honey, I broke a glass in the kitchen.

Wife: it's okay, dear. I'll be there with a broom.
Husband: it's not an emergency. You can come on foot.

The signs always say, “Break glass in case of emergency,” but when I had an emergency and broke the glass, my neighbor yelled at me.

Apparently, it was “highly inappropriate” to throw my drink to the floor, and I “could’ve just asked where the bathroom is.”

An Australian, and Irishman and a Brit were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:

My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.


The Irishman calls out across the lounge: "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus"? Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am J...

I put my backup cheese grater in a glass box.

I'll break the glass in Queso-mergency

Guy is sitting in a bar when the bartender notices the empty glass in front of him. "Care for another?" the bartender asks.

Guy replies "why would I want two empty glasses?"

One day 3 immigrants

One day 3 immigrants were sitting in a bar: A Syrian, an Afghan and a Turkish

The Syrian finishes his beer, throws the glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. As pieces of glass are raining on them he says "In Syria glasses were so cheap that we never drank from the same glass twice"
...

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