Dave has died and is waiting in the queue to get into heaven.

As he draws ever closer to St Peter he can hear him asking people the same question.

"Denomination?" he asks a little old lady as she reaches the front of the queue.

"Methodist", she replies.

St Peter checks his notes and directs her to the eighth door on the left.


It only takes me one drink to get drunk.

The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

John is going golfing with a friend.

On a road next to the fourteenth hole, a funeral procession goes by. John takes off his hat and bows his head until the procession leaves.
“Wow”, his friend said, “That was beautiful. You truly are a respectful man.”
“Yeah, well...” John replies, we were married for 20 years.”

My Favorite Joke

Three guys die and go to heaven. While they're waiting in line at the pearly gates a guy asks them how they died. The first guy says "I live on the fourteenth floor of an apartment building. I've been suspecting my wife of cheating on me for a little while now so today I decided to find out for sure...

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