UPJOKE
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I searched on google “how to start a forest fire.”

It cam up with around 48,500 matches.

I applied to fight the Australian forest fires...

They said I was overkoalafied. (If you enjoyed this, please donate to Australia. Thank you)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 out 5 forest fires are started by people...

Which scares the shit out of me. Because that means somewhere out there is a bear that knows how to light matches.

I'd like to apologize to all my fellow Californians for the recent forest fires.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them.

What’s the difference between roast beef and forest fires?

Anyone can roast beef but only YOU can prevent forest fires.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet? A: To stomp out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: To stomp out flaming ducks!

When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?

Pallbears.

Smokey said "Only you can prevent Forest fires"

That's alot of pressure.

Bear witness

Like Smokey watching a forest fire.

Best joke my dad ever told me (he wasn't good at telling jokes)

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To put out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To put out burning ducks.

The impossible wish

A guy saves a frog from a forest fire. The frog turns out to be a magical frog, and is very grateful to the man for having saved its life. So the frog offers to grant him three wishes. The man says, “Great. So I want:   1. Lifelong access to any cinema,   2. I want to be 10 years younger and   3. I ...

An old forest ranger is retiring.

At his retirement party he tells his successor, "Jerry, whatever you do, don't fire Hugh Williams".
Well Jerry doesn't really like being told what to do, especially by some guy on his way out the door, but he assures the old ranger he won't fire him.
A few years pass without incident, but as ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theme 3: 1 Liners, Words of Wisdom

*I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

*Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in ...

The moral of the story...

A rich, eccentric man wanted to invest his money, and keep it safe.

He decided to invest in antique furniture, but not just any furniture. He would buy the best and fanciest chairs that could be found only in the finest castles of the world.

He wanted to be sure his collection...

Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.

Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time...

A turtle walks into a bar

He says to the bartender 'I'd like a glass of water' The bartender gives,him the glass and the turtle goes out of the bar. That situation repeats 3 times and then the bartender thinks to himself 'I'll ask the turtle why does he need so much water'. The turtle comes in and again asks for a glass of w...

When I was young I was pretty curious. I used to go to my grandpa with my questions....

Me: Grandpa, why does is it rain ?

Grandpa: Son, sometimes mama earth feels thirsty.

Me: Also why do animals die ?

Grandpa: Sometimes mama feels hungry too, bud. I think thats it for today?

Me: One more, grandpa! Why do forest fires occur? I learned about them in school t...

Remember Elephant jokes?

These are the first three that I learned a looooong time ago!

* Why do ducks have webbed feet? -- So they can stomp out forest fires.
* Why do elephants have flat feet? -- So they can stomp out flaming ducks.
* Why do elephants paint their toenails red? -- So they can hide in cherry tre...

Elephants

How many legs does an elephant have?
Four. Two in the front and two in the back.

Why don't elephants make good dancers?
They have two left feet.

What's flat and feathery and half an inch tall?
A duck who tried to teach an elephant how to dance.

Why do ducks have w...

Animal feet

Do you know why ducks have flat feet?



For stamping out forest fires.







Do you know why elephants have flat feet?







You'd think it'd be from jumping out of trees, but it's to stamp out burning ducks.

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