Evangelic Jokes

The atheist is honest about not following the teachings of Christ.

Ick, theology!

JESUS is always the answer.

There was a Priest, an Evangelical Preacher, and a Rabbi walking along come upon a trunk with a million dollars in it. They talk among themselves asking each other what should they do with it?

The Rabbi says, "I think we should draw a circle on the ground then we throw it in the air, tha... read more

All three of his marriages have lasted longer then his presidency.

A Jewish Rabbi, Hindu Pujari, and Evangelical Christian Pastor all arrive in a small town holding a regional religious exchange conference.

However, upon arriving at the very last motel on the edge of town at the same time, the manager says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I only have one room lef... read more

He’s having him deported tomorrow.

The doctor gives him a clean bill of health, and sends him on his way. He returns a week later to get a second opinion. Another doctor confirms the first's findings. He comes back for a *third* rectal examination, swearing something is amiss, only to once again be given a clean bill of health. On th... read more

Every week he’d play the lottery and get very upset when he lost. His wife found out that he won and was worried it would give him a heart attack. She goes to the pastor and asks him to break it easy.

The pastor invites the man for coffee. The two are talking for a while and eventually the ... read more

He wanted to talk about Cheeses.

As he draws ever closer to St Peter he can hear him asking people the same question.

"Denomination?" he asks a little old lady as she reaches the front of the queue.

"Methodist", she replies.

St Peter checks his notes and directs her to the eighth door on the left.

"Pleas... read more

I said "Wait, friend. Don't jump. Don't you have faith in the Lord?"

The man paused and said "Yes. I do have faith in the Lord."

I said "I'm a Christian." He said "Me too."

I said "I'm a protestant." He said "Me too."

I said "I'm a Lutheran." He said "Me too."

I sa... read more

Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins. The evangelical priest says, "No question about it, life begins when the child is born." "No, no," says the Catholic priest, "it all starts when the sperm meets the egg." "You're both wrong," says the Rabbi. "Life begins when the children ha... read more

A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.

GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"

... read more

I figure better safe than sorry. I don't want to end up in hell with the Evangelicals.

An Evangelical Christian church.

Grandpa and Grandma were watching the television evangelical show and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed.

Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set... read more

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This ... read more

Three religious leaders of the community, a priest, a rabbi, and an evangelical preacher are sitting around talking about how they run their finances.

The priest says, "At the end of the week, I make a line on the floor. Then I take all of the money out of the donation box, throw it in the ai... read more

Evangelicals would finally be as poor as Jesus wants them to be