UPJOKE
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I told a girl she had a radiant smile

I didn't know she was from Chernobyl

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The Sun God Heloios was hungover today. Unable to lift his radiant body out of bed he just stuck his blazing bare bum over the horizon...

... it was the crack of dawn.

My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie.

He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.

Sadly, their relationship became toxic.

A Woman Goes To Buy (Another) Parrot

A woman goes to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper brings her three parrots to see.

"This parrot is a marvel. It toured with the Royal Shakespeare Company. It can recite any play by Shakespeare on command, doing different voices for each part. It's yours for only $200"

"That's amazing, but I...

Marie Curie is my favorite scientist of all time.

She was absolutely radiant.

Looking back on 10 years of marriage

Wanted to save this story for one of my favorite subs.

When I first met my wife we went on our first date and I was pretty nervous. I wanted to take her somewhere different to break the monotonous ā€œfirst dateā€ vibe of coffee or drinks so we decided to go to a local apiary to help transpla...

A monk dies and goes to heaven...

He wakes up confused with an angel standing over him.

The monk exclaims "What! Where am I?"

"You are in heaven now my brother" The angel proudly states, then upon seeing that the monk seemed upset, asked "Is there anything wrong?"

"I can't believe this... can you take me to see...

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A farmer couple is visited by aliens

Two space aliens, a male and a female, land their ship in the middle of a farm and meet the husband and wife who own it. They start talking and the farmers put them up in their house for a few weeks. They exchange stories about culture and technology. On the last night before the aliens depart, the ...

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Watching Childbith

The nurse approached him, smiling. "The labor is going great," she said. "Wouldn't you like to come in?"

"Oh, no," the man shook his head.

The nurse returned to the mother's side, and the labor progressed smoothly.

As the birth neared, the nurse returned to the man, now pacing f...

A cowboy and his horse are wandering through the wilderness...

...when they're suddenly amushed by Indians. They tie his hands and feet together and lead him back to their camp. Upon arriving, the chief says to the cowboy that he is now their prisoner but is free to wander the camp as he chooses. BUT, if he should attempt to escape, he will be killed. That even...

The daughter of a melon farmer and a travelling musician met one day and fell in love at first sight

The womanā€™s name was Angie, a beautiful, red-haired woman with a smile so magnetic and radiant one couldnā€™t help but fall head-over-heels; the musicianā€™s name was Zachary, a strapping, young lad with flowing, blonde hair and broad shoulders, just wide enough to give him a powerful physique yet not i...

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