UPJOKE
colonstomalarge intestinesigmoid colonostomyincisionhysterectomythoracotomyprosthesisanastomosisaldermanfeceshandbagnapkincashier

Colostomy Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I drew a colostomy bag

It was pretty shitty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can you always trust people with colostomy bags?

They're the only people you know aren't full of shit!

(Made this up today and got hit with a waterbottle by my wife!)

When the doctor told me having a Colostomy would improve my grammar, I didn't believe him.

But it was true; I now use a semi-colon on a regular basis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did one colostomy bag say to the other colostomy bag?

I can't take this shit anymore!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started selling Bagpipes made from colostomy bags on Amazon

Needless to say, they sound like shit.

What's the most difficult thing for a woman with a colostomy?

Finding shoes to match her bag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things I hate intestinal tumors, colostomy bags, chemotherapy

Edit: quit telling me I'm missing a colon. I fucking know

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy who's making "Colostomy Bag Pipes" on Kick Starter?

They sound like shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People get angry when you tell them how to do their jobs.

For example, when I suggested to my doctor that I get a colostomy, she ripped me a new asshole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I learned there are somethings you shouldn’t slap the shit out of.

One of them being, a colostomy bag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a colostomy bag and Donald Trump?

A colostomy bag gets emptied once in a while where Trump is always full of shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Great Golf Game

This guy was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang... It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been i...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.