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Collin Jokes

My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin

I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"

He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."

(True story)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

The woman was shocked. "I don't believe it. Are you sure? I want to be absolutely sure, are there any other tests you can do?"

The doctor responded, "I'm quite sure, but if you'd like we do have some alternative tests that we can perform."

"YES! I have to be absolutely certain."
...

An Australian, and Irishman and a Brit were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:

My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.


The Irishman calls out across the lounge: "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus"? Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am J...

Where does Phil Collins record his songs

The stu-stu-studio

How did Phil Collins know about Lorde?

She wasn't born until 1996 but In the Air Tonight was released in 1981

People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.

But take a look at me now.

Buzz Aldrin and Mike Collins were invited to the White House to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the moon landing...

Buzz got to enter the White House and meet with the president, but Mike had to spend the entire visit driving in circles around the White House.

It's amazing that Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins both went solo back in the day

There was a real Exodus from Genesis

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The teacher told us that the first people to have a surname had some kind of story on how people began to call them that, like how Michael Collins was a drunkard

Somehow i dont wanna know Emily Dickinson's story.

Joan Collins forced to flee fire:

The funeral director has had to make a formal apology as he could have sworn she was dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at the deli counter behind another dad and his son the other day.

I was at the deli counter behind another dad and his son the other day. He has his hands full - the kid was screaming for candy, cookies... all sorts of things. The dad kept saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, this won’t take long. Just chill out.”

He had another outburst in the cer...

I spent 2 years in rehab for my Phil Collins addiction.

I did it against all odds. Just take a look at me now.

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

What do Phil Collins and God have in common?

They were both introduced in Genesis and have watched people drown without intervening.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] "Good Luck Mr Collins"

Two astronauts successfully landed on the moon and transmitted their thoughts and feelings back to mission control. They described the moon's surface, the atmosphere, the temperature and their feelings of elation at being there.

Just as the transmission was going off, one of the astronauts w...

I am a dyslexic with an obsession with 80s experimental music.

I can Phil it Collin in the air tonight

On and On

Mr. Johnson told Mary his secretary that he was going on a business trip to Chicago the following day and he wanted her to come with him. They'd be staying there for 2 days.

As soon as she got home, she told her husband Bob about this.
"Honey, my boss asked me to go on a business trip to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar. . .

RESUBMITTING WITHOUT LINKS



Picture it. June, 1971. London.



Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.



Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil t...

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper, surprised and pleased, says, "Oh, really? Tom Collins?"

This is my favorite joke.

Arm wrestle

I challenged one of the Apollo 11 crew to an arm wrestle.
In hindsight I should have chosen Aldrin, or Collins

I'm the most hated person in the Senate

Ted Cruz: I'm the most hated person in the Senate.

Susan Collins: Hold my beer.

Brett Kavanaugh: Who said beer?

Twitter repost @Amanda_Kerri

What's the difference between an encyclopedia and a Republican senator?

The encyclopedia has a spine.

(Apologies to Senators Collins and Murkowski)

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