Chicago Bears Jokes - 12 Hilarious Chicago Bears Jokes

Papa Bear and Mama Bear are getting a divorce

You know Goldilocks and the 3 bears? Well mama bear and papa bear are getting a divorce. In court they bring in baby bear. The judge puts baby bear on the stand and asks him who he'd like to live with?

"Well not papa bear he beats me," says baby bear.

"So mama bear?" asks the Judge....

Former Chicago Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd was released from federal prison today.

That makes two Cocaine Bears getting released this weekend.

Whats the difference between a Chicago Bears fan and Marty McFly?

Eventually Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985.

The Chicago Bears new quarterback.

The Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new quarterback. With all normal options not working out they looked outside the United States. They found a terrorist in Iran who was able to throw a grenade 100 yards and have it go through a 3rd story window every time. The Bears signed him immedi...

I’m not worried about the Chicago Bears.

I’m sure they will bounce back.

Momma Bear and Papa Bear are getting a divorce,

Momma Bear and Papa Bear are getting a divorce, and they're fighting over custody of Baby Bear.

The judge interviews him to help decide who gets custody. "OK Baby Bear, since your parents are going to live in two places, we have to figure out where you live. Do you want to live with Papa Bear...

Competing investment clubs are opening in Chicago.

The Chicago Bears and the Chicago Bulls.

You Know You're A Northneck (Northern Redneck) If......

Your rusty vehicle's resale value only goes up if you remember to put the snow tires on them during the winter.

You ever got into a shouting match based on which college hockey team you're a fan of.

You've ever used expired gas station sushi as bait for ice fishing.

(You're re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three football fans were driving along when they

saw a body in the undergrowth. Stopping their car, the three guys ran over to see what they could do. Unfortunately, they found the nude body of a deceased young woman. Being gentlemen, the first guy dropped his Chicago Bears hat over one breast. The second guy, a Tampa Bay Bucs fan, placed his hat ...

There's 3 bears..

Mama bear, papa bear and baby bear. The parents get divorced and have to go to court to decide custody of the baby bear. The judge decides to let the baby decide: "do you want to go with your momma baby?" Baby replies : " no because she beats me!" Judge: " How about with your papa?" Baby:" No he be...

After the whole Goldilocks affair, the Bears were getting divorced. (long)

After the whole Goldilocks affair, the Bears were getting divorced.

Mama Bear didn't buy the whole "this bed's too hard, this bed's too soft, this bed's just right..." BS!

The judge was deciding on the custody arrangements for Baby Bear.

The judge asked Baby Bear, "Baby Bear do ...

Once upon a time, there was a family of bears.

One day, Mama Bear and Papa Bear decide to get a divorce, and they get a court date for custody of Baby Bear.

The judge asks Baby Bear, "Do you want to live with your mother?" to which Baby Bear replies, "No! She beats me!"

The judge then asks, "So, you want to live with your dad?" to ...

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