What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil?

The American Healthcare System

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad?

A faux pa.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose ?

Nobody knows

What do you call someone that hates massages?

Massage-ynistic

What do you call someone who dyes their hair orange?

Transginger

What do you call someone who hates people who are missing toes?

Lactose intolerant

What do you call someone getting too cosy with a b

Cosby

What do you call someone who is always naysaying?

A horse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who's sexually attracted to Greek cheese?

A Feta-shist

What do you call someone who makes sound effects when they urinate?

An onomato-pee-a

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who is really good at giving blowjobs?

The head master.

What do you call someone who has nothing and wants to share it with everyone?

A communist

What do you call someone that studies idiots?

A derpetologist.

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

What do you call someone who jumped off a pyramid?

In denial

What do you call someone who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

Inseine

What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender!

Came up with this while putting chicken tenders out at my old job. lol

What do you call someone who overpays for caulk?

A caulk sucker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who runs like Naruto ninja?

A virgin.

What do you call someone who eats rice?

A ricist

What do you call someone who got fired from the East German secret police for substance abuse ?

An Ex-Stasi

What do you call someone who buys up the garden store's entire stock of shrubbery?

A hedgehog!

They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn't wear any shorts at all?

A swinger.

What do you call someone with Alzheimer's?

They don't know either.

What do you call someone from Alabama stuck in a sandwich?

Inbread.

If someone who speaks three languages is called trilingual and someone who speaks two languages is called bilingual, what do you call someone who speaks only one language?

American

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who worships testicles?

I don't know but it sounds sacriligious to me.

What do you call someone who can sing but not talk?

A mutesician.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who refuses to drink anything other than alkaline water?

A basic bitch.

What do you call someone with Reddit Premium?

A Predditor.

What do you call someone who doesn't wear a mask?

You don't call them. You stay 6 damn feet away from them.

What do non-Americans call someone with a foot fetish?

A meter maniac..

What do you call someone who develops cutlery

A cutting edge technologist *cue groans*

If we call someone from Poland a pole

Do we call someone from Holland a hole?

What do you call someone who isn't sure if the Easter Bunny is real?

An Eggnostic.

What do you call someone with a lisp who murders angels and ghosts?

Ethereal killer

What do you call someone who is incredibly good at estimating the weight of objects?

A masstermind

What do you call someone who rips up books?

A tear-orist.

If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?

A coworker

What do you call someone who is fluent in 3 languages and marginally conversant in 4th?

Pi-Lingual.

What do you call someone who is crazy about protecting the planet?

Enviro Mental.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who steals viagra?

A hardened criminal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who lights people's butts on fire?

An arsenist!

What do you call someone who is part Czech?

Czech Mix.

What do you call someone who is so afraid of nature, that they do everything to try and control it?

An organic chicken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know what they call someone who molests children using an online dictionary?

A Wikipaedophile

What do you call someone who gets off by someone yelling in their ear and strangling them?

Otoerotic asphyxiation.

What do you call someone who makes a spelling error AFTER editing their comment?...

An Ediot!

What do you call someone that's good at giving hand jobs with both hands?

Ambi-dicks-terous

What do you call someone who grows plants by watering them with blood?

A phlebotanist

What do you call someone who worries that they might have ADHD?

A hyperchondriac

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone that likes getting high and having their buttons pushed?

...an elevator.

What do you call someone who keeps talking even if nobody cares?

A teacher

[Dumb] What do you call someone who cuts pizza with a machete?

Chasin Fourcheese

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who starts their own cow poop business?

An entre-manure

What do you call someone with mints on their feet?

Tic tac toes

What do you call someone who spoils tv shows?

A serial killer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who flies a spaceship to Uranus?

An asstronaut.

What do you call someone without any shins?

Tony

What do you call someone wearing a "Make Jazz Great Again" hat?

A Trumpet Supporter

What do you call someone who livestreams their effort to overthrow a government?

An exseditionist

What do you call someone born in the 1800's?

Dead.

What do you call someone who threatens legal action against a karate dojo?

Chop suey

What do you call someone from Anchorage that smokes pot?

Baked Alaskan.

What do you call someone who goes to bars to find potential new partners?

A bar-tinder.

What do you call someone from Slytherin House who is really into French pastry?

Draco Mille-feuille.

What do you call someone who has never paid attention to ants?

Ignorant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who masturbates to the hosts on OAN?

A Q-cummer

What do you call someone who specializes in selling insurance to hand models?

A digital security specialist.

What do you call someone who has seen an iPhone being stolen?

An iWitness!

What do you call someone who's been stabbed 3 times?

An ambulance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone with chronic masterbation.

Handsome

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who's really nice in person, but an asshole on the internet?

An asshole

What do you call someone tricked into signing a terrible deal?

The groom

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who's intentionally trying to get the virus

A sick fuck!

What do you call someone who believes the world is run by a shadow organization of Mexican chain restaurants?

QdobAnon

What do you call someone who is tired of playing a cardgame?

Cardboard

What do you call someone who’s attracted to young animals?

A PETAphile.

What do you call someone that graduates from medical school with the lowest grades ?

A doctor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call someone that really enjoys pleasuring their partner’s asshole?

A crack addict.

What do you call someone who doesn't pass gas in public?

A private tooter (tutor)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who can’t stop looking at other people’s butt?

A Crack Addict!

What Do You Call Someone Who Argues About Sailboats?

A Mast-Debater!

What do you call someone who works at a rodeo?

An EmployYee.

What do you call someone who helps you learn to fart?

A Tooter (my 9yo daughter made it up)

I asked a stranger what do you call someone who is attracted to both male and female

He left right away without even saying bi.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

Names.

What do you call someone who disproves a formula

A Mathemortician

What do you call someone who dresses in red, has a long beard, and says ho ho ho?

A Pimp!

What do you call someone that hinders progress and democracy with conspiracy theories?

A Q>!cumber!<

You might need a dictionary for this one. Unless you think the clintons invented dictionaries

What do you call someone with a rubber toe?

Roberto

what do you call someone who molests child molesters?

An apex predator

What do you call someone with frosted tips and dandruff?

Frosted flakes

I'm sorry

What do you call someone whos not fully british?

Brit...ish

What do you call someone that repairs rocks?

A rocktor

What do you call someone who brings a poorly tied rope to the gallows?

A bearer of bad noose.

My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with this one: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who fixes boners?

An erectrician

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who dips their dick in a bowl of Cheerios?

A cereal rapist

What do you call someone with mediocre detonation skills?

An OK Boomer

What do you call someone who beats up dessert chefs?

Cobbler clobberer.

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