UPJOKE
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Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day.

Feeling desserted.

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What’s the difference between sex and cake days?

Most Redditors have had cake days

It’s my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

“What’ll it be today?”

The bear says “give me a gin and.........................tonic”

The bartender says “sure thing but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says “I dunno? I was just born with them. “

My annual cake day joke repost - how can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce unionized

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My Gf says I can get anal on my cake day if this post reaches front page

Please upvote because I want to rearrange the whole house furnitures to make them perfectly symmetric from every angle

I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying it's their cake day, just so people can wish them.

You won't catch me doing that today.

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almost forgot it was my cake day! here's my favorite joke. it's not about cake

On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse s...

It's my cake day, so I wanna share my favorite joke :-)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to ...

My favorite Dad joke, because it’s my cake day.

Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?



Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.

Today is NOT my cake day

But when it comes I will NOT attempt to farm karma with it.


April fools.

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes.

What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the walls?


Rick O Shea

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?

Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.

For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time.

Three guys were walking down the street.

Two of them walked into a bar.

The third guy ducked.

For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa’s favorite joke when I was growing up: “Wanna hear a dirty joke?”

-A man fell in a mud puddle.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.

Edit: thank you for my first silver and gold

Edit 2: I really only expected maybe 1 comment, lol. This really kinda...

It's my cake day, so one of my favorite jokes ... A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.

His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!"

"I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.

"Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."

The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who wo...

What happens when you don't get any upvotes on your cake day....

You feel desserted.

What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?

Extra Karma... I hope.

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Everybody Knows Dave, The best joke on my cake day

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Da...

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In celebration of my cake day, here's the worst joke I've ever created.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him ...

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For my cake day, I want to share a joke my friend told me

When I was born, god gave me the option between choosing the ability to finish stories, or having a big dick.

Obviously, I chose

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My cake day joke. What did one saggy boob say to the other?

If we dont get some support soon people will think thank we're nuts!

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My Cake Day penis joke:

A guy goes to the beach for vacation, and he really wanted to impress the ladies on the beach. He worked out a bunch, tanned in advance, and bought a tiny banana hammock bathing suit for himself.

Each day, he put on his tight budgie smuggler and began walking the beach, smiling at the bathin...

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It’s my cake day, so here’s a joke!

what do you call someone that doesn’t masturbate?




A liar.

In honor of my 7th cake day, I present to you, my Dad's favorite joke.

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs in...

Since this is the first year that I’ve remembered my cake day, here’s my four year old’s favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

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My cake day joke - A man goes to a bar and orders 10 shots of jaeger. The bartender says wow, thats a lot, you celebrating?

The man says yes! My first blowjob!

The bartender says congrats! Why 10?

The man says *if that won't get the taste out, nothing will.*

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It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes since 15+ years ago.

There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. Th...

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My cake day joke.

A gunslinger walks into a bar.
Low and behold there sits Doc Holliday.

The gun slinger says "hey you're Doc Holliday!"

Doc says "yeah I'm your huckleberry. "

The gunslinger says "you are my hero. Would you critique my shooting?" He whips his pistol out of its' holster and sh...

Someone told be that on your Cake Day, you get free Karma!

My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.

Here’s my cake day joke

Me: Bruce and I are teaming up for a 3 member mission and are looking for a second person. Would you like to join us?

Them: Uhh... do you mean a third person?

Me: Bruce is 3rd person, I is first person, you is second person

It's my cake day, so better post a joke about cakes... Why couldn't the Teddy bear finish his birthday cake?

Because he was already stuffed...

Sorry, I'll do better next year - definitely Muffin that I will repeat again!

Cake joke for my cake day!

Was at a wedding today and it was so beautiful everyone started crying.


Even the cake was in tiers.

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has ...

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For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What’s the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you’ve heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I’ll get better material)

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Cake Day Joke

It’s my cake day so here is my crappy cake day joke.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

By using holy condoms.

It's my cake day, thought I'd share my favorite joke I like to tell

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those Knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice.

After explaining his predicament t...

When it's your Cake Day you share a Cake joke!

Mother: Why is your little brother crying?
Son: Because I won’t give him my piece of cake.
Mother: ls his piece gone?
Son: Yes - he cried when I ate that, too.

It's my cake day! Here's my favorite blonde joke.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette tells her s...

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My favorite joke for my cake day

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Japanese man are hired at a construction site.
The foreman says to the Italian "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Asian "You're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while."
Later when...

The only cake joke I could remember for cake day.

What’s the difference a cake and a pie?

πr2, cake is round.

Obligatory Cake Day joke

What do a pregnant woman and a burnt cake have in common?

Pulled out too late.

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Cake day repost: Sorry!!!

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same...

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[Final Cake Day joke] A 70 year old man goes into a brothel. He picks out a young pretty woman, ....

... they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed.


The old man performs like a teenager, the prostitute is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free.


He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to tak...

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Cake joke for cake day

Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother...

what did the redditor get on her 10th year cake day?

Probly just a bunch of down votes.

Obligatory cake day joke

When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body. Then I was born

For my cake day, a joke I read recently.

The irony of Wall Street:

The dealer, not the customer, is called “broker.”

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For my cake day I’ve decided to share my favourite cake recipe

I used to have trouble remembering how I did it, so this time I wrote it down while making it.

You’ll need 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1...bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to che...

It's finally my cake day, so I can make my cake day repost

N. 5347!

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It's my cake day, so here's a classic!

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a sex shop and...

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

It’s my cake day so here’s a little cake joke for you all...

What do rat’s like to eat on their birthday?
Mice cream and cake

I’ll see myself out.

For my sixth cake day I was going to just repost someone elses cake day joke.

But then I thought to myself...

Nah, I'm batter than that!

Today is my 5th cake day

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids ever will be.

Obligatory Cake Day Dad Joke

My friend keeps saying "Cheer up mate it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water".

I know he means well.

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a Cake Day joke

I always wondered why my wife brings me cake when we have sex....

Turns out she likes to celebrate the little things.

It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...

A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says “do you have fish cakes?” The man behind the counter replies, “No”.
“That’s a pity, it’s his birthday”

For my cake day, here's the oldest joke in my email, sent to me in 1996.

In honor of my cake day, I'm sharing the oldest joke in my email archive, that was sent to me on September 17, 1996.



Three unrelated men happen to die on the same day and go to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the gates and says "Congratulations! You've all made it to Heaven. Now, de...

Cake day joke: a redditor’s mom saw him sitting in the middle of the road, making a post to r/jokes. “What are you doing son?” she asked, appalled by his recklessness. “It’s my cake day, ma” said the redditor. “What does that have to do with being in the road?” his mom asked. The redditor replied….

I want to get hit with that karma.

My girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire was...

I told her it was the dude from Sesame street

She said, "He doesn't count."

I said, "Oh I assure you, he does."

(obligatory cake day joke)

A joke for my cake day

Someone stole my mood ring.



I don't know how I feel about that.

On my cake day a joke about cake...

A father is dying. All of his children stand around his bed. The smell of cake comes from the kitchen. The father says to Jan: "Please get me a piece of cake before I die..."

Jan goes and comes back straight away: "Mom said it was for after the funeral!"

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Cake Day joke repost

A father was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom.

When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with...

Cake Day. My current go-to jokes

My two current go-to jokes:
1. Why is a broken drum the best gift? Because you can’t beat it.

2. Me: Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete jumped out. Who’s left?

Them: Repeat.

Me: Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete jumped out. Who’s left?

Them: Repeat.

Me: Pete ...

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

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My terrible cake day joke

I had a crooked dick then i got a blowjob from a chick with braces. Now it’s so straight i can prove the earth is round.

It’s my cake day, here’s a joke

What’s the difference between port authority and a lobster with breast implants?

One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean!

My friend Glados said there is cake on my cake day

But all I see is praise and up votes. I'm starting to think the cake is a lie.



Boy it's hot in here too.

My Cake Day joke: I finally got a girlfriend for Valentines Day!!!

Her name is Rejection.

My cake day

I don't have a meme
I've been in quarantine
So I just hope this little rap
Will set you all in snap....
That....that....
I've been drinking my weight in whisky

long: joke for my cake day: three rich men go on a plane

And when they have taken of, and an hour or two have passed, the others say to the first one : ''we dare you to throw a brick out of the plane'' the first man does it, and says: i am the most daring of us all !''

The second man says: '' no, i dare to throw a table out of this plane!'' ''no...

Even though it's my cake day and I absolutely love cake...

Never gonna run around and dessert you

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted.



Happy cake day to me :)

For my cake day, I've decided that I'm not going to be drinking any more.

I'm not going to drink any less either.

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Small cake day joke..

Went to the doctor about my fear of palidromes.. I was shaking by the time I got there at noon, then the bastard gave me xanax and told me he had a racecar!!

Hey it’s my cake day!

You want a slice ?

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What is the worst part about your cake day?

No one gives a fuck.

( It's my cake day )

Since it's my cake day, I asked the Baker for 2 cubed loaves of cake.

They gave me 8. (8 year Cake Day).

How do you know if its your cake day?

When Reddit constantly reminds you that it is.

(Sorry if this sucks, tried my best to make someone laugh).

It's my Cake Day,so here's a joke I like. : "Dont Touch"

Must be the scariest thing a blind person can read in Braille.

For my Cake day I would like to share my biologist wife's favorite joke.

Two girls are giving relationship advice to their friend.

The confectioner says:

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." And offers to help the girl bake a cake.

The doctor says:

"That is actually false, the quickest way to a man's heart is through the...

Obviously, this is a cake day post

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake.



They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?"



I said, "yes".

What’s the most terrifying word in experimental nuclear physics?

Oops!

(Shameless karma farming on cake day)

Cake Day Joke!

An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, “Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me – you do not want that parrot!”

She said, “I can teach it good manners.” 

But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so s...

First cake day

Kinda nervous

Cake Day special: Hear about the new restaurant called karma?

There’s no menu... you get what you deserve.

It’s my cake day today so I figured I’d try out a cake joke!

Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

Doctor: Next time, take off the candles

For me everday is cake day

And sometimes cake morning
And cake afternoon
And cake evening


I just like cake

I can’t think of a single good thing to post on my cake day.

I guess I’ll just have to dessert my karma farming plans.

I’m so happy I didn't miss my cake day this year

It nearly brought me to tiers

Since its my cake day

I used to work at a very large balery known for making some of the most exquisite and famous cakes.

These cakes required a very intricate and delicate process to make them and involved a lot of processes and a secret recipe.

However in all my 20 years, the head baker never told me the ...

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A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink

The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.

The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some k...

A joke on my cake day

What is the best part about dating a homeless person?


You can drop them off anywhere.

5 years of cake day without posting a joke...

I mean, I feel I dessert to do it this time.

My 1st cake day, here’s my favourite joke for you all:

Graffiti artist writes on the wall: Person who wrote this is brilliant and person who read this is a idiot.

Dave (you know Dave, everybody knows Dave) who used to walk by this sign everyday got angrier and angrier whenever he read this sign.

So one day Dave got an amazing idea, so that...

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