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Brexit Jokes

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The new sex position is called Brexit:

It's when you promise to pull out but you don't:

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.

My father is a Brexit negotiator.

As was his father before him.

I'm going to go on a Brexit diet

The pounds will drop fast.

Absolutely cannot wait for Brexit.

We make nothing in Britain these days;just noticed on the back of my TV it says ‘Built in Antenna’- this is a country I’ve never even heard of.

Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario:

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.

How much space will Brexit free up in the EU?

1GB

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

What’s is the #1 question asked after Brexit?

UK?

What do I know about Brexit?

Not a great deal.

I have a brexit joke for ya

But I’ll need another 6 months

Despite Brexit, English is set to become the EU official language...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, given its majority status in the EU, despite the UK leaving.

As part of the final Brexit negotiations, Germany proposed a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known ...

I call my pregnant wife Brexit.

Despite my best attempts there wasn't any pulling out.

Why brexit happened

\*Knock Knock\*

Whos there?

Europe

Europe who?

No You're A Poo!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hard Brexit

Fears over dwindling viagra stockpiles in the U.K in the result of a hard Brexit. The government have labelled it "a growing problem".

Everyone gets what they want out of brexit

The Brits get their blue passports and the average iq of the European Union goes up by 10 points.

What's the opposite of Brexit?

Brit*in*

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

No Brussels!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don’t Brexiters wear condoms?

They prefer to pull out.

Why was the Brexit coin delayed?

Because the British couldn't agree on a border.

And the solution for Brexit is.

42

We're having a Brexit themed Christmas.

Everyone says what they want but nobody ends up getting it.

I call this my brexit dress..

Every time I wear it people want me out of it and when I’m out they want me back in.

They say fizzy drinks will soon disappear from the shelves in UK supermarkets thanks to Brexit.

The UK Government should do a trade deal with Mexico, I hear they're really good at getting coke across the border.

Do you wanna hear a brexit joke?

Actually.. yeah sorry I'll tell you in a few months.

Now that Brexit is over

we can expect

1. Nexit
2. Frexit
3. Grexit
4. Departugal
5. Italeave
6. Czechout
7. Outstria
8. Finish
9. Slovakout
10. Latervia
11. Byegium
12. Polend

I have no idea what’s going on with Brexit....

...which is something I have in common with Britain’s government.

Brexit

There is a new slimming product in town.

It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds.

The year is 2077...

Brexit negotiations continue.
Nevada has counted 98% of the votes.
Cyberpunk has been delayed again.

Why did they name it the Brexit?

They should have gone for the Great British Break Off!

As a Brit I didn't believe Brexit could be Trumped

But it seems that's exactly what's happened :(

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you have sex with a Brexiteer?

Because they'll only give a weak pound!

What's the good thing with jokes about the brexit?

They will be still relevant in a decade

GB: Brexit was the dumbest thing in the last years!

USA: hold my drink!

How do you run a small company after Brexit?

Well, you start with a big company...

If Elon Musk was a Brexiteer...

He would be a Musketeer!

Johnson's plan for Brexit in January leaked:

He'll be on vacation in France.

What do you call a chicken in a dinghy full of tomato sauce, using carrots for oars, chasing a British Conservative fleeing Brexit?

Chicken Cacciatore

Why was Brexit planned to happen on Halloween?

Because we’ll be turning away children knocking on our door asking for food.

As an Englishman I'll be enjoying a lovely Brexit Dinner this year....

It's like a regular Christmas Dinner, but there's no Brussels.

They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries.

They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before.

Brexit walks into a bar.

Barman: “Why the long farce?”

Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June

It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.

Post Brexit, what will be the difference between a dollar and a British Pound?

A dollar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Brexit is like my girlfriend's experience with anal sex.

At first there was intrigue, then there came a great deal of pain. And now when it so much as gets mentioned there's no way she'll even listen.

What do brexit and my dog have in common

They beg to be let out but just sit at the door when they finally are

With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say

Make America Great Britain again!

Brexit was similar to choosing your favorite Jane Austen novel.

Pride and Prejudice defeated Sense and Sensibility.

Brexit, for France

AdiEU

Whats the french version of Brexit?

adiEU

My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,

"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."

what do Brexit and facebook have in common?

Both seem to have been caught up in a fishing scam

Jose Mourinho has been brought in to help Theresa May with Brexit negotiations.

He made leaving Europe look so easy.

I got a new cat yesterday and have decided to name it Brexit

He always meows loudly to be let out but when I open the door, he refuses to go through it.

What is all this #Brexit going around?

When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

What will happen to the EU's computers when Brexit happens ?

They'll have an additional 1 **GB** of free space.

I'm naming my new exercise regime 'Brexit'.

It's the quickest way to lose pounds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My approach to sex is similar to the governments approach to Brexit

I go in hard then pull out when I realise I have no idea what I'm doing

Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...

It's titled:

Never Gonna Give EU Up

Did you hear about the price of milk going up due to Brexit?

It's because the cows are on stilts

I heard that the Brexit may not make such a big mess after all

But Theresa May

With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing.

They're calling it the ounce, now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the park with my dog and I said to this bloke

"Would you support another Brexit referendum?"
"Not at all, " he replied. With that my dog bit him.


I carried on and I saw a woman, I asked, "Would you support another Brexit referendum?"
"Never, " she said. My dog bit her as well.


As I carried on I met another man, ...

Brexit must have impacted Game of Thrones' budget really badly… (spoilers)

I heard yesterday they fired half of the cast.

Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

Well, America actually did it

It Trumped Brexit.

My girlfriend wants to have a baby…

and I don’t, so we’re going to compromise. We’re having a baby but I get to name it. So I’m going to call it Brexit, because although only half of the people involved want it to happen, it’s going to happen anyway.

Harry and Meghan are leaving the throne

At least 2 people know how to make a proper Brexit

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