A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."

His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"

The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...

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The new sex position is called Brexit:

It's when you promise to pull out but you don't:

What’s is the #1 question asked after Brexit?


They say fizzy drinks will soon disappear from the shelves in UK supermarkets thanks to Brexit.

The UK Government should do a trade deal with Mexico, I hear they're really good at getting coke across the border.

How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.

I stole this from one of [elee0228](/u/elee0228) comments.

Everyone gets what they want out of brexit

The Brits get their blue passports and the average iq of the European Union goes up by 10 points.

My father is a Brexit negotiator.

As was his father before him.

My girlfriend wants to have a baby…

and I don’t, so we’re going to compromise. We’re having a baby but I get to name it. So I’m going to call it Brexit, because although only half of the people involved want it to happen, it’s going to happen anyway.

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

No Brussels!

As an Englishman I'll be enjoying a lovely Brexit Dinner this year....

It's like a regular Christmas Dinner, but there's no Brussels.

I have a brexit joke for ya

But I’ll need another 6 months

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I was in the park with my dog and I said to this bloke, "Which way did you vote regarding Brexit?". “I voted to leave" he replied. With that my dog bit him. Later that day, I was down the pub and I asked the landlord the same question and he replied “I voted to remain” and my dog bit him too.

My dog doesn't give a fuck about politics.

What's the good thing with jokes about the brexit?

They will be still relevant in a decade

How much space will Brexit free up in the EU?


Despite Brexit, English is set to become the EU official language...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, given its majority status in the EU, despite the UK leaving.

As part of the final Brexit negotiations, Germany proposed a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known ...

Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario:

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.

The year is 2077...

Brexit negotiations continue.
Nevada has counted 98% of the votes.
Cyberpunk has been delayed again.

What do I know about Brexit?

Not a great deal.

Absolutely cannot wait for Brexit.

We make nothing in Britain these days;just noticed on the back of my TV it says ‘Built in Antenna’- this is a country I’ve never even heard of.

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

I have no idea what’s going on with Brexit....

...which is something I have in common with Britain’s government.

I call my pregnant wife Brexit.

Despite my best attempts there wasn't any pulling out.

Post Brexit, what will be the difference between a dollar and a British Pound?

A dollar.

Why was the Brexit coin delayed?

Because the British couldn't agree on a border.

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Why don’t Brexiters wear condoms?

They prefer to pull out.

Why brexit happened

\*Knock Knock\*

Whos there?


Europe who?

No You're A Poo!!!

We're having a Brexit themed Christmas.

Everyone says what they want but nobody ends up getting it.

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Why shouldn't you have sex with a Brexiteer?

Because they'll only give a weak pound!

I'm going to go on a Brexit diet

The pounds will drop fast.

Johnson's plan for Brexit in January leaked:

He'll be on vacation in France.

What do brexit and an open relationship have in common?

They want all the benefits without the responsibilities.

Credit: a british comedian's ex

Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June

It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.

And the solution for Brexit is.


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Boris Johnson dies...

His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem: We seldom see a Conservative here and we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Johnso...

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Brexit is like my girlfriend's experience with anal sex.

At first there was intrigue, then there came a great deal of pain. And now when it so much as gets mentioned there's no way she'll even listen.

How many Brexiteers does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don’t change lightbulbs. They just remove them because lightbulbs work better once disconnected.

Do you wanna hear a brexit joke?

Actually.. yeah sorry I'll tell you in a few months.

How do you run a small company after Brexit?

Well, you start with a big company...

In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May

May wants to leave at the end of May.

I completely agree with Brexit, I don't care what you guys say,

Europe Union doesn't matter

I got a new cat yesterday and have decided to name it Brexit

He always meows loudly to be let out but when I open the door, he refuses to go through it.

Why did they name it the Brexit?

They should have gone for the Great British Break Off!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the park with my dog and I said to this bloke, "Would you support another Brexit referendum?"

"Not at all, " he replied. With that my dog bit him. I carried on and I saw a woman,

I asked, "Would you support another Brexit referendum?"

"Never, " she said. My dog bit her as well.
As I carried on I met another man,

" Would you support another Brexit referend...

With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say

Make America Great Britain again!

GB: Brexit was the dumbest thing in the last years!

USA: hold my drink!

They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries.

They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before.

Now that Brexit is over

we can expect

1. Nexit
2. Frexit
3. Grexit
4. Departugal
5. Italeave
6. Czechout
7. Outstria
8. Finish
9. Slovakout
10. Latervia
11. Byegium
12. Polend

Why was Brexit planned to happen on Halloween?

Because we’ll be turning away children knocking on our door asking for food.

If Elon Musk was a Brexiteer...

He would be a Musketeer!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hard Brexit

Fears over dwindling viagra stockpiles in the U.K in the result of a hard Brexit. The government have labelled it "a growing problem".

I asked my cat to comment on Brexit

She said that they should repeatedly ask to leave, and when the door opens, they should just stare at it. That’s what she would do.

As a Brit I didn't believe Brexit could be Trumped

But it seems that's exactly what's happened :(

What do brexit and my dog have in common

They beg to be let out but just sit at the door when they finally are

A tourist visiting Ireland went out for dinner when it came to deserts he was surprised to see “Brexit” listed on the menu so he asked a waitress what it was

She replied oh that’s an “Eton Mess”

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Y...

Did you hear about the price of milk going up due to Brexit?

It's because the cows are on stilts

I heard that the Brexit may not make such a big mess after all

But Theresa May

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My approach to sex is similar to the governments approach to Brexit

I go in hard then pull out when I realise I have no idea what I'm doing

Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

what do Brexit and facebook have in common?

Both seem to have been caught up in a fishing scam

Brexit walks into a bar.

Barman: “Why the long farce?”

My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,

"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."

Jose Mourinho has been brought in to help Theresa May with Brexit negotiations.

He made leaving Europe look so easy.

Why don't fire stations have poles any more?


Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...

It's titled:

Never Gonna Give EU Up

Whats the french version of Brexit?


I thought Brexit was bad..

but the U.S. just Trumped it.


There is a new slimming product in town.

It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds.

What is all this #Brexit going around?

When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

I'm naming my new exercise regime 'Brexit'.

It's the quickest way to lose pounds.

With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing.

They're calling it the ounce, now.

Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU.

Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?

Brexit must have impacted Game of Thrones' budget really badly… (spoilers)

I heard yesterday they fired half of the cast.

What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?

When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"

Harry and Meghan are leaving the throne

At least 2 people know how to make a proper Brexit

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