Blood Loss Jokes - 12 Hilarious Blood Loss Jokes

A man died of blood loss on his way to the Hospital

The EMT was asked why, and he replied --

"I kept asking him for his blood type, but he just wasn't able to tell me. He was too out of it"

The Doctor sighed. "Well for our records and for the sake of the family did he have any last words? Did he suffer?"

"Well.." the nurse repli...

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Have you guys heard about the man who’s penis is so big, he passes out from blood loss when he becomes erect?

I heard he’s a hard sleeper.

A man gets into a serious accident

A man gets into a serious accident. He was rushed to the hospital to prevent blood loss. When he awoke he said “doctor doctor! I can’t feel my legs!” The doc said “I know, I amputated your arms.”

Did you hear about the man who had his right side cut off

He's dead. Died from blood loss. Poor guy. On the bright side, his family got what's left of him.

Joke below

My uncle recently passed away because of a car accident he was in. It looked like he was gonna make it but he had extreme blood loss and needed blood soon. Nobody could remember what blood type he was. He passed away the next day. When he was in the hospital bed I remember him saying “be positive” b...

My dad died last year

I remember how it happened. He suffered a terrible car accident and eventually died in the hospital from blood loss. We could've saved him, but none of us remembered his blood type. I still remember how my family gathered around his bed and how he kept telling us to "be positive" over and over again...

Its pretty hard to stay positive...

My grandfather recently died from blood loss. We might have found a donor for his blood type. But nobody knew it. He kept shouting "Be Positive!"
But it was pretty hard to be positive at the time...

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3 navigators land on a foreign island in the middle of the ocean.

The 3 men, one from Japan, one from France and the last from Australia, run onto the sand, immediately feeling the intense heat that the sun was giving off. After hiking for around half an hour, the travelers spot a beautiful oasis at the bottom of the hill. They all make a mad dash towards it, eage...

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A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

 

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

 

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

 

"You see, that ott...

Two detectives are investigating a crime scene in a plastic surgeons O.R. (Long)

After an initial forensics report they determine cause of death was blood loss.

Detective 1: I’ve seen their sort of procedure before. Good God! I thought they stopped this sort of operation years ago!

Detective 2: what is it? You’ve seen this before!??

Detective 1: oh yes....Ma...

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Jesus Christ is dying on the cross...

... and his disciples are gathered around, crying.

Peter, looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, Peter, come!". Peter rushes over to the cross, only to have his right arm cut off by the roman guard. He gets up and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears...

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So there's a serial killer on the loose...

There's a serial killer on the loose in a pretty big city in Southern California. This killer has been at large for some time and has a particularity sadistic method of murdering his victims, he kills them by making thousands of tiny cuts all over their bodies until they pass out from pain and die o...

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