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Barbiturate Jokes

So Bill Cosby gets off.

This time without barbiturates.

A bear walks into a bar

"Sorry we don't serve bears in here" the barman says

"But I'm a big brown bear"

"Sorry we don't serve big brown bears"

Bear is angry and hits the bar with his claw "give me a beer now!"

"Sorry we don't serve bar bashing big brown bears!"

The bear picks up a barstoo...

A hungry talking bear walks into a bar...

Upon entering the bar, the bear grabs a woman and eats her in front of everyone. When finished, the bear walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer". The bartender replies "Sorry, we don't serve drug users in here." The bear shouts " What do you mean...I don't use drugs !" To which the barte...

A bear walked into a bar...

Looked about the crowded bar and didn't see anywhere to sit. A young woman caught his eye, they exchanged smiles and he walked over to her. Just as she opened her mouth to say hi he mauled and ate her.

He looked up to the bartender and said "Barkeep, I'd like a large Guinness."

The bar...

Harambe the gorilla walked into a bar and ordered a drink.

The bartender says, "I don't serve gorillas here."

Harambe says, "you better or I'm gonna do something terrible."

The bartenders say, "oh yeah! Like what?"

Harambe points to a women slumped against the bar and says, "I'm gonna go over there and eat that woman!"

The barten...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alligator walks into a bar...

An alligator walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says "sorry, we don't serve alligators here."

The alligator is pissed and goes out and puts on a huge hat and trench coat to hide his identity. He comes back in to order a beer.

Bartender sees through the goofy disguise and s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bear walks into a bar...

Stop me if you've heard this one.

A bear walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve bears at this bar, get out!"

To which the bear replies "Look, I just want a drink."

"No, we don't serve bears here, you gotta leave." says the bartender.

"If you don't serve me I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a bear walks into a bar...

In Brooklyn there is a local ordinance that you can't serve beers to bears in bars in Brooklyn, so this bear walks into a bar in Brooklyn and orders a beer and the bartender goes, "whoa, your a bear, sorry I can't serve beers to bears in bars in Brooklyn."

To which the bear replies, "well I'm...

Three psychiatrist are talking. . .

Three psychiatrist are talking about how everyone comes to them with their problems but they have no one to go to with their problems. They agree to share their problems with each other.
The first psychiatrist says, “I’m addicted to Barbiturates. I write myself prescriptions all the time.”
The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Bear walks into a bar in Butte...

Walks up to the Bartender and says "Gimme a beer"

Bartender says "No way, get out! We don't serve beers to bears in bars in Butte!"

Drunk woman at the end of the bar says "You heard the man bear, get out!"

Bear says again "I'm asking nicely, please give me a beer"

Bartend...

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