UPJOKE
adjectivefrench languagereligionblasphemyverbgospelgesturetaboosinchristianityislamhatredcoprolaliaten commandmentsemotions

Bad Words Jokes

Joke my kid made up when he was like 4.... What do you call an angry shopper using bad words?

A cussomer.

What font is the best for writing bad words?

Any cursive font.

What do you call a bottom that uses bad words?

A crass ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid'a parents didn't want him to learn bad words...

*English isn't my first language so tell me if there are any mistakes*

So one day the father was taking the kid to the mall for a haircut, they walk out the door and the father suddenly remembers he forgot his keys.

He forgets him and his SO's idea and says "Shit! I forgot my keys" th...

What does a computer use to say bad words?

Its cursor!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mom is tired of taking care of Junior, sends him over to the construction site across the street. [NSFW - Language]

As the title says, Mom sends Junior over to hang out at the construction site since she's tired of watching over him...

The boy comes home at the end of the work day and Mom asks, "Well, son, what did you learn today?"

"Well, Mom, I learned a LOT! Like... when you hang a door, if it do...

A boy gets a parrot for his birthday

A boy gets a pet parrot for his birthday.

The parrot is constantly swearing, and saying rude things. The boy tries to teach his parrot to stop saying bad words and things like that. He plays calm music to the parrot, he reads stories to the parrot, he tries everything he can to get the parrot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

**NSFW** Little Johnny comes home from school one day

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and tells his dad, “Dad, some kids got into trouble for using bad words in class, but I don’t even know what they mean”.

“That’s OK Johnny, because I don’t want you using bad words anyway.”

“But Dad, can’t you tell me what they mean so I kno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

5 Year Old to Dad : Do you know what comes out of a virgin Pussy?

**Dad** : Jesus Christ !!

Who taught you all those bad words ?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, what is the difference?

An eleven year old boy comes home from school and tells his Dad, "Dad, I keep hearing the boys at school use the bad words Pussy and Cunt but I don't know what the difference is."
Dad: "Go get that Penthouse magazine in my nightstand and I'll show you."
The boy runs off to get the magazine...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid is throwing rocks at a can in a park

He misses the first shot and says:
"Fuck, I missed!"

The priest from a church that is right in front of the park hears him, walks up to him and says:
"Son, you must not curse or God will punish you..."

The kid doesn't listen to him and replies:
"Yeah, whatever"

He keeps...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny had a foul mouth

His mother was at the end of her wit. Not knowing what to do, she went to the local Church to counsel with the Priest.

"Father, my little boy is a darling but he has a wicked habit of saying nasty words. I don't know where he learnt them but he says things that would make a sailor blush! What...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny walk into a coffee shop

And asks the attractive young server for a coffee. When she brings it out he looks at her, points to the coffee and says, "Maam, please p-i-s-s", spelling out the last word.

Offended at this, the server asks him to leave. While walking out he turns around and says "Bye c-u-n-t", again spellin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a 4 year old and a 7 year old.

The 7 year old says, "Hey, let's say bad words!" The 4 year old says okay, so they go downstairs. They see their mom and she asks the boys what they want. The 7 year old says, "Give me some god damn Reese's Puffs." The mom slaps him and asks the 4 year old what he wants. The 4 year old says, "You be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Letters of the Alphabet

A teacher is going through the alphabet in class, asking the students to say a word that begins with each letter.

"OK, the first letter is 'A'," the teacher says. Little Johnny immediately raises his hand. Knowing that he is rude and foul mouthed, the teacher decides not to call on him for f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Sexy Lady went to confess her sins to the Priest

Priest: Tell me lady,why are you here confessing your sins?


Sexy Girl: Forgive me for I have sin, everytime I hear a man cursing or saying bad words I just cant stop myself but to get aroused and wants to have sex with him

Priest: Fucking Shit! Wtf!

The Turkey, the Parrot and the In-laws

Martha had a parrot called Brutus, the only problem was that Brutus had a terrible issue with cursing. 

Now Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear.

Just before her Mother-in-law was due Brutus cursed terribly, so Mar...

This worked fine with my level 200a on up.

A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor and had a big vocabulary. However, the man soon discovered that the parrot mostly know bad words. At first he thought it was funny, but then it became tiresome, and finally, when the man had important guests, the bird's bad wor...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.