An 80 year old blind man walks into a pub and sits at the bar.
He orders a pint and tells the landlord, "I've been blind for 50 years lad. My hearing's perfectly attuned. I bet can tell you what's happening in any room in this pub."
"Oh really", says the landlord, "go ahead then".
The old man cups a hand round his ear, tilts his head to the ceil...
After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than him
“I don’t understand,” he complained to God. “I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”
God explained to him, “Our policy here in heaven is to reward results. Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?”
“Well,” the minister had to admit, “some in the ...
Tommo was a canary. [long]
Tommo was a canary. Like his father, and his father before him, Tommo worked in the granite mines. Every morning, he would perch upon the shoulder of his favorite miner, and descend down, down into the deep.
Tommo had a lovely wife canary at home named Millet. Millet and Tommo had two sons...
A group of three successful bowlers traveled to every bowling alley in their county, talking trash at every alley and winning every game. Finally, the owner of an old ma and pa bowling alley had enough and invited them to a secret underground alley.
The old owner explained the rules to a new type of bowling.
"You place the ball at your feet, and then control the ball with your voice"
"That preposterous" said one of the bowlers.
"No, said the old owner, the acoustics in this room are so finely att...