90th Jokes - 18 Hilarious 90th Jokes

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On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a hooker.

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a hooker.

She danced seductively, then sat on his lap.

She whispered in his ear "I'm here to give you super sex!"

The man thought about it and then asked her "what kind of soup?"

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An old man is celebrating his 90th birthday

And his friends pooled their money together and hired a prostitute to go to his house.

The prostitute knocks on the old man's door and says, "Happy birthday! I'm here to give you super sex!"

The old man says, "I'll take the soup."

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The 90th birthday

An elderly man is celebrating his 90th birthday down at the nursing home and all his friends decide to surprise him by getting him a present. So they wheel in this massive cake and out pops a beautiful young women who looks at the old man and says:
"Hi, I can give you some super sex!"
So t...

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ...

An old woman is having her 90th birthday.

She has three sons, and each of them has been very successful in life. They realized this might be her last year, and each decided to get something special for her.

The first got thought that she must find the same old house boring after living in it for all her life and bought her a mansion....

My grandmother asked for the trip of a lifetime for her 90th birthday

Got her a one way ticket to Switzerland

An old woman and her birthday gifts

An old woman had three sons. Two were rich and the other was poor. This woman's 90th birthday was coming up and this depressed the poorer son as he knew he could never match his brothers gifts in terms of expense or splendour.

However, he didn't give up and thought of gift she would really l...

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A guy walks into a bar without money…

He asks the bartender if he can get a free drink. The bartender kindly replies there are no free drinks on offer, but he could actually try the challenge and win free drinks for the rest of his life…

Naturally, the guy is interested; ‘So tell me about that challenge!’

The bartender exp...

George Burns is greeted on his 90th birthday...

...by three scantily clad and drop dead gorgeous women. They prepare to sing him Happy Birthday, but he cuts them off to say:

"I'm sorry, girls, one of you will have to come back tomorrow."

There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree murders, but why are there no 90th degree murders?

Because murder is not right

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Years later, they get back together to discuss the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother for her 90th Birthday.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said," I sent her a Mercedes with a dr...

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Birthday at the old-age home

So it's Phil's 90th birthday. All of the residents of the old-age home are there. Suddenly, two people come in with a huge "Happy Birthday" cake. The top of the cake opens up, and out pops a gorgeous busty blonde in a skimpy bikini. She goes over to Phil, sits on his lap, and says "It's your 90t...

Throwback to elementary school:

Three people were on a game show where there were 100 stairs. On each stair, they were told a joke. If they could get through all of the stairs without laughing, they would win a million dollars.

The three contestants were a Brilliant scientist, a successful lawyer, and an ordinary person who...

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An American, Englishman, & Australian were arguing which of their versions of football were the toughest.

An American, and Englishman, and an Australian were discussing which of their particular brands of football were the toughest.

The American said, "We've got this quarterback Peyton Manning who's just won his second Super Bowl ring. Well, one day Manning was sacked so hard, his front split op...

OK Reddit, whats the best 9/11 Joke You've Ever Heard?

i'll start it off:

What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones’ head when he was working on the World Trade Center’s 90th floor?
A: The 91st floor.

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Two 80 year old men

Michael and John, who have been best friends since high school, have just spent the last of their retirement savings on a trip to Hawaii.

They check into their hotel and are furious when they find out that the lifts wont be working for another month and that their room is located on the 90th ...

The Free Drinks

Jerry was walking home from work in a bustling city, when he stumbled upon a man who was giving out coupons for a free drink at an enormous penthouse. This monstrous building had 100 floors, and no elevator, but Jerry was determined to go get himself a free drink.

After the first ten flig...

Grandma's Birthday Present

Little Johnny's Grandma had her 90th birthday coming up, and he wanted to make sure that he got her something special. He saved up all of his pocket money and in the end decided to buy her the fanciest toilet brush that was available.

He gave it to his Grandma and she promptly embraced Littl...

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