50's Jokes - 12 Hilarious 50's Jokes

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A man in his 50's visits the doctor.

"I just can't take it anymore, doc," he says, wincing. "I stand at the urinal for 20 minutes and nothing happens. Is there something I can take?"

"I'll tell you what you can take," the doctor snarls. "A cold dose of reality! Do you have *any* idea what's happening out there?! Global warming i...

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Back in the 50's Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby’s a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. When he arrives at the front door, Peggy Sue’s father answers and invites him in.

“Peggy Sue’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says. “That’s cool.” says Bobby.

Peggy Sue’s father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue’s father responds “Why do...

A man and a woman in their 50's are out to dinner...

The wife asks, "Honey, when I die, would you ever re-marry?"

The husband replies "I might, but only if I had your blessing..."

The wife says "Of course, my love - but would you let her drive my prized Mercedes??"

The man reassures her saying "No, I would never let another woman ...

Two guys from the 50's

Two guys from the 50's were talking out front of one's house.
The first neighbor says to the other, " what do you think of that new family, the Petrov's?"
The second neighbor looks at him and replies, " I don't know if they're commies Teddy, but they sure do raise a lot of red flags."

This guy born in the 50's called me to ask me the name of that toy that's supposed to come back to you

The boomer rang

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A blonde in her early 50's hears that bathing in milk once a week will tone skin, and remove wrinkles...

She decides to try this wrinkle remedy, so she leaves a sign on her front door for the Milkman to leave her 27 gallons of milk.

The Milkman comes along and sees her sign. He thinks that she must have made a mistake, as 27 gallons is a substantial amount of milk, so he knocks on her door and s...

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A woman in her 50's gets plastic surgery on a regular basis, now she's back at her surgeons office yet again.

The doctor politely states that "Since you are regularly getting nips, tucks, and lifting done you would be a perfect candidate for an experimental procedure that would all but eliminate the need for further operations." The woman is intrigued.

"What we do is install a small knob...

One of my older friends called me the other day

He was born in the 50's and his grandson's birthday was coming up.

He was planning on getting him one of those toys that are supposed to always come back. He couldn't remember what it was called, so I reminded him.

Long story short, the boomer rang.

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A family is at a dinner table.

Suddenly the son ask the father " Dad how many kinds of boobs are there".

The father surprised answers "Well son a woman goes through three phases. In her 20's they are like melons , rough and firm . In her 30's and 40's they are like pears, still nice,but hanging a bit. But in her 50's they...

What is the best part about being in your 60's

Knowing you won't die during your 50's

Pole Vaulter

Back in the 50's most carpet was made overseas came rolled up on lengths of bamboo.

So this guy is walking down the road and sees several bamboo poles poking out of the trash behind a carpet store. The guy goes into the store and asks if he can have one of the discarded poles. The carpet guy ...

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The bar bet

A man walks into a bar to find a bottle full of 50 dollar bills on the table. He asks the bartender what the deal is to which he replies "give me 50 dollars and I'll tell you." The man decides it's not worth it and orders a drink. After he's had a few, the man is a little tipsy and getting more a...

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