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2010 Jokes

2010: Didn't jog.

2011: Didn't jog.

2012: Didn't jog.

2013: Didn't jog.

2014: Didn't jog.

2015: Didn't jog.

2016: Didn't jog.

2017: Didn't jog.

2018: Didn't jog.

2019: Didn't jog.

2020: Didn't jog.

2021: Didn't jog.

2022: Still haven't jogge...

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending...

I'm still using Office 2010 ...

For lack of a better Word ...

Everything before 2010 feels fake.

Maybe because it’s all just pre-10’s.

Only 2010's kids will get this...

Measles

Happy New Year 2010!!

Sent from IE browser

3 men were waiting in line to enter heaven

The angel at the gate asks the first man
"how many times did you cheat on your wife?" "10 times" the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to a 2010 Toyota Camry "this is how you will drive around heaven".
The second man says he cheated on his wife 5 times, the angel gives him a 2018 Lexus...

Have you seen the documentary from 2010 about the Pixar movie display case?

It holds Up.

Just been sacked from my dream job as a maths teacher. Been there since 2010

What a waste of 15 years!

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Barbara Walters is interviewing Neil Armstrong in 2010 about him being the first man on the moon.

Barbara Walters (BW) says to Neil Armstrong (NA) "It's a great honor to interview you Mr. Armstrong. (NA) replies, "Happy to be here". Then (BW) asks him "As a young journalist hearing you speak those famous words for the first time". "One small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind", "I had to a...

FIFA just got caught taking bribes for the 2010 World Cup.

What a kick in the balls.

In 2010 the Apple CEO came to my house and started taking my cleaning supplies..

Bloody Jobs, stealing my polish!

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"How can you watch porn but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked

" The same way I watch Formula 1 whole weekend but still happily drive my 2010 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..

That satisfied her...

I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips

Excerpt from a newspaper, "Cocaine found on sidewalk"

"On Oct. 19, a small bag of a white powdered substance was found laying on the sidewalk of 50th Street and 49th Avenue in Sedgewick. The substance was determined to be cocaine.

"The owner of the cocaine is welcome to come into the Killam/Forestburg RCMP detachment to claim their property."...

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A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night

A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night and discovers a private sneaking back into the barracks.

Sergeant: Private! What are you doing?

Private: Trying to sleep, sir!

Sergeant: You look like you just had sex, boy. When did you last have sex?

Private: 2010...

The Wolf of Wall Street

Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "F**k" or "F**king" 506 times. That actually beats a record set by me in 2010, trying to put an Ikea chair together.

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A Marine Sergeant recently returned from Afghanistan attends his 10 year high school reunion

At the 10 year reunion for Lockwood High School class of 2010, Allison is getting a fresh drink when she runs into Jim. Jim was a bit awkward and quiet in high school, but now he's wearing a Marine sergeant's uniform, with a row of ribbons.

Allison strikes up a conversation and Jim has become...

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The retired Sargent goes in for his physical...

The doctor says, "You look pretty fit. You stay active, but I need to ask about your sex life. When was the last time you had sex?"
After thinking for a second... "2010." the Sargent says.
The doctor is flabberghasted. "2010?" He sputters.
"Well," says the sargent, looking at his watch, "si...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

Vote for Gaben for president.

There will be no World War 3.


(stolen from a 4 year old comment on a portal 2 e3 2010 YouTube video).

I had a girlfriend and her favorite Pixar movie was "Up".

This was 2010 and she had it on blue ray, and we would watch it at least once a week at her apartment. But after like the 40th time, I confronted her and said I was tired of watching. The argument got heated; it didn't help that we were drunk. Suddenly, she pushed me and I fell on something. I turne...

I like my babies like I like 'dead baby' jokes:

Dead since 2010

Wrong E-mail Address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota...

Good thing I don't see any political posts on my news feed

In fact, my Myspace friends haven't really posted much since 2010.

My wife said that I need to pay more attention to what's going on around me.

So, in 2010, I'm going to try harder.

A Brief History of Medicine

**Patient:** "I have an ear ache."

**Doctor:**

2000 B.C. - "Eat this root."

1000 A.D. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."

1750 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."

1920 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."

1960 A.D...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves at a scene of utter carnage...

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself Watson, there's an evil hand afoot ahea...

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Translation of the Bulgarian variation of the 1st day of school joke.

It's the 1st day of school at an American Middle School.

The teacher introduces the new student - Takiro Suzuki from Japan.

Class starts and she says:

- Now we will see if you know your history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death!"?

No one knows b...

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< Athletes foot! >

I made up this joke in 2010

........................................................

A very active runner was hit by a power shovel. The affect was to shear his privates off. When he got to the hospital the doctor tried to reattach it, but to no avail. The doctor then noticed that...

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The New New Math....

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tel...

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So i went to Walmart today...

... and asked customer service for gta5. She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club. She came later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.

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The Big Bang Theory

# Some Background Info

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" was created by Chuck Lorre. At the end of each episode he inserted a one screen humorous comment.

While season 4 was being produced, the lead actress had a horseback riding accident unrelated to the show which caused her a broke...

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"Angry Notes" Courtesy of Saurabh on Fropki.com

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it up. Enjoy dreaming about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

D...

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