UPJOKE
submachine gunmagazinepistolmachine pistolsubmachineblowbackkalashnikovopen bolttelescoping boltuziel galdayangunlandauhebrew languagereceiver

Uzi Jokes

TIFU by buying an MP5K instead of a Mini-Uzi from the Arms Store...

Whoops, wrong sub.

Why did Lil Uzi Vert's cousin have to inform everyone in the neighborhood that he just moved?

Because his first name was Per

How can you tell the uzi wasn't made in the usa

If it was it would've been a BigMac

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?

A salt rifle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CNN Reporter, a BBC Reporter, and an Israeli commando were hiking through the jungle...

A CNN Reporter, BBC Reporter, and an Israeli commando were hiking through the jungle and were captured by cannibals. The chief of the cannibals said, "I am aware of your Western custom of granting the condemned one final wish. What do you wish for, before we kill and eat your?" The CNN Reporter sai...

Do you want to hear a joke about the Israeli army?

A general asks a young soldier, what will you do if you see 20 soldiers coming to attack you? The soldier says that I would take an Uzi and shoot them.

The general asks him what if a tank is coming to kill you? I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself replied the young soldier.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The three pigs.

The first pig, Straw Pig, looked out his front window of his straw house as a big, bad wolf appeared in his driveway. At the top of his lungs, the wolf yelled “LITTLE PIG, LITTLE PIG, LET ME IN OR I’LL HUFF AND PUFF AND BLOW YOUR HOUSE IN”. Straw pig wasn’t worried, so he gave the wolf the finger an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A panda walks into a bar...

Panda sits down and starts eating some peanuts out of a dish on the bar. A few minutes later, he pulls out an uzi and starts firing at all the customers. Panda gets up, and lumbers out of the bar.

A few days later, the same panda walks back into the same bar. He sits at the bar and starts hav...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.