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What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in ...

My wife and I were deciding whether we wanted a third child

Which is a bit awkward because he's 5.

My aunt has three daughters

One day her three daughter run up to her mom and one of them yells
"mom!!! Why am I named rose?"
"Well sweetie, when you where born a rose pedal fell on your head"
The second daughter.
"Mommy!!!!!!!!! Why am I named violet?"
"Because when you where born a violet somehow fell on you...

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Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas....

were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."

The Texan lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"

The lady from Mississippi continued, "When my second child wa...

My wife was pregnant with our third child...

My wife was pregnant with our third child. Long story short, we had been having some complications and had been seeing a special Ob/Gyn but everything seemed to be going fine. Except my wife went into labor just a little early by just a couple weeks. We called our doctor's office, and of course, our...

The Grandfather and the Dalmatian

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.

"No," said anothe...

a Mother has three children.

One day, her first child comes along and asks:
"Mom, why is my name Flower?"
The mom replies:
"Because, when you were born, a flower fell on your head."

Her second child, Twig, comes along and asks:
"Mom, why is my name Twig?"
The mom replies:
"Because, when you were born, a...

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The first day of first grade

The teacher asked the children what they had done over the summer.
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I went for a ride on the choo-choo."
"That's very nice," the teacher said, "but now that we are in first grade, we don't say choo-choo, we say train."
The next child raised her hand ...

A child asks why their name is...

A mother and father are going through baby photos with their three children when the first child looks up to his mother and asks...

"Momma, why did you call me Sand?"

And the mother replies, "Well, we named you Sand because when you were born a grain of sand landed on your forehead"...

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is beginning to deliver the baby

The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can fini...

A boy approached his mother and asked about his name.

He asked, “Mom, why am I named Leif?”
His mother replied with, “Because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” Satisfied with the answer he left to go play.

A few minutes later the boys sister approached the mom and asked, “ Mom, why am I named Rosie?”
Her mother replied with, ...

How did you get your name?

A grade school meets her new class at the start of the year and starts asking them their names.

She goes to the first child, “What is your name?”
The girl replied, “Lilly”.
The teacher says, “That’s a lovely name, how did you get your name?”
The girl replied, “Because when I was born...

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A couple's children get together to ask their him about the origin of their names.

"I suppose you're all old enough that we can tell you the real story. Each of you were named according to the circumstances surrounding your conception," the father said.

"What about me?" asked his first child.

"Well, Breckenridge, your father and I took our honeymoon to go skiing and ...

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It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.

To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third ...

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A woman, pregnant with triplets, takes a walk in a bad neighbourhood.

She is caught in the crossfire during a drive-by shooting. She's rushed to hospital and given a scan immediately. The sonographer gives her the results.

"It seems that you've been very lucky. A bullet has lodged in the intestines of each of your children, but all three appear healthy. We wil...

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My American friend told me this

So There was a bank robbery with three hostages. A woman was pregnant but shot 3 times. She was rushed to hospital. She was fine same with here children. The doctor said to the proud mother the children will pee out bullets when they are 15. Well they all turned fifteen and were very healthy. The ...

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3 bullets

I don't know if you guys have heard this joke. But here it goes...

There was once a woman who was pregnant with triplets. Unfortunately, one day a burglar came, armed with a gun came into the house and demanded all the cash but they didn't have any to give at hand. The burglar got angry and s...

Three kids and a mom are having a conversation

1st child: mom, why did you name me Lilly?

Mom: because when I was walking out of the hospital with you, a lily flower pedal landed on your head.

2nd child: why did you name me rose?

Mom: because when I was walking out of the hospital with you, a rose pedal landed on your head...

A Cuban man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all in a plane.

The pilot comes to the back and says "the plane is going down, we need to lose as much weight as possible."

The Cuban man throws a crate of cigars off the plane and says "we have plenty of those in Cuba, I won't miss them."

The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explain...

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What do you want for breakfast?

3 young boys come down to breakfast in the morning.

Their mom, looking a bit put out, looks at the oldest boy and says, "What'll you have for breakfast?"

The boy replies, "Aw hell mom, I'll have some Cheerios"

The mom whacks him 3 times on the head and yells, "go to your room!"<...

A cow gives birth to 4 cavles, and one day her oldest comes up and asks "Mother, why was I names 'Lotus'

The mother replies saying "Because when you were born, a lotus petal fell on your head". The next day, the mothers second oldest came up and asked why they were called Rose, and the mother replies "Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were born". Her third child asked why they were named ...

Little Jenny isn't a very good student

She gives an especially poor performance at religion classes. One day, the teacher asks Little Jenny a question.

'So Jenny, could you tell me who created the world?'

Little Jenny is thinking hard, but she doesn't really now the answer. Suddenly, Little Johnny who's sitting behind her s...

A mother was putting her 3 children to sleep...

A mother was putting her 3 children to sleep.

As she kisses his first-born, he asks:
"Mom, why I am called Snowy?"
To that, she replied:
"Well, that's because when you were born, some snow fell on your forehead"

After she kisses his second son, he asks:
"Mom, why I am calle...

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3 kids were making cookies but they didn't have chocolate chips

Instead they used BBs. They ate the cookies and didn't think anything more of it.


The next day the first child went to the bathroom and came running to their mother. Mommy mommy! I have BBs in my poop!


The second child went to the bathroom and came running out screaming. Momm...

Children’s names

A mother and her children were talking. “Mom, why is my name rose?”said Rose.
Mom replied “when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head, so we named you Rose.”
“Why am I called Poppy?”said another child.
“Because when you were a baby, a Poppy petal fell on your head, so we called y...

A mother of 3 children was at the park one day...

Her oldest child came up to her on the bench.
"Mama, why is my name Rose?"
"Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head, and we read it as a sign to name you Rose."
The mother's second child came running up and asked:
"Mama why is my name Lily?"
"Because at the hospit...

Native American Chief and his 3 sons

One evening, a Native American chief sat down to eat dinner with his wife and three sons. The youngest son, asked his dad how he was named because his friend, Sharp Spear, told him that his name came from what his dad is known for- sharpening spears for the village men. The chief looked at his son, ...

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A Southern Oldie But Goodie....

**Disclaimer: Must be read in a deep Southern drawl.**

A woman was standing in front of the window in the maternity wing looking at her newborn baby when another new mom walked up beside her. She pointed at a baby and said, "Is that your baby boy there?" The first woman replied, "Why, yes it ...

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A Mother of three is sitting on her porch.

One of her daughters walks up to her and asks "Mommy, why am I named Rose?" Mommy replies with "because when you were very young, a rose fell on your head." Rose wonders off.

Her second daughter comes up looking puzzled and asks, "mommy, why am I named Daisy?" Mommy replies with "because whe...

Strangely Named

There were once three children, whose names were rather unfortunate

The first child was named "none of your business"
The Second child was named "Manners"
The third child was named "Trouble"

Trouble was lost, so none of your business and manners went to the local police station f...

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A pregnant woman gets caught in the crossfire of a bank robbery...

She gets shot, and wakes up in the hospital only to see a doctor standing next to her bed. "Wha-what happened? What's going on?" She says. To which the doctor replies, busy and indifferent, "Well, I have good news and bad news...the good news is your pregnancy is unaffected and you will have your tr...

George visits an isolated village

As he walks down the street he sees three children playing. He is inspired by their happiness, approaches them and asks for their names. "Sunflower", says the freckle-faced girl. "Sunflower?", asks the man, "Why would that be your name?" - "It is said that when I was born, a sunflower fell on my hea...

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