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I was raised as an only child

It really pissed off my sister

I’m an only child

Finally...

My parents raised me as an only child...

...which really annoyed my younger brother.

Why is a Jewish Jedi Master always an only child?

Because he has no Force-kin.

Kylo Ren: I've always hated being an only child

Han: You're not an only child. You're a Solo child.

I was raised as an only child.

My siblings took it pretty hard.

I'm the only child in my family.

My mom said she learns from her mistakes.

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I was brought up as an only child.

I enjoyed it, but it used to really piss off my sister.

My dad always told me he never made the same mistake twice

Must be why I'm an only child

A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.

“No, thanks" says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn't like it".

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for a round of drinks.

"No, thanks" the plant manager replies. "You know, I tried alcohol on...

My mum always told me she didn’t have a favourite child.

Bit sad really. I’m an only child

So Joe, the bartender tells his regular customer Fred, "I've got a new riddle for you."

So Joe, the bartender tells his regular customer Fred, "I've got a new riddle for you." Fred says, "Gee, I dunno Joe, I'm not good at riddles". Joe says, "This is an easy one, here goes. My mother had a child, it's not my brother, it's not my sister. Who is it?" Fred says, "I dunno. I'm an only chil...

Its pretty easy to tell who my dad's favorite child is.

Mostly because I'm an only child.

My parents insisted that they never had a favorite child when I grew up

I'm an only child :(

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So this 17 year old boy gets diagnosed with a terminal disease.....

The doctor tells the parents that he only have 3 days left to live, so the parents planned on making it the best 3 days of his life. Being their only child the wanted the best for him. they went to his favorite restaurant, went to the movies and went to an amusement park.
They rent a very expens...

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What’s a virgin in Alabama?

An only child.

Accident Elle

Elle grew up as an only child of an older couple, as all of her brothers and sisters had moved out by the time she was born.

One day, she asked why they had waited so long to have her.

Her mother told her they had decided not to have any more kids, so her father got a vasectomy, but th...

An old man has been standing in line at the pearly gates for so long, when he gets to the front, he can't remember his name for St. Peter to look up in the Big Book...

Peter doesn't know what to do, so he gets Jesus to help him figure it out.

Jesus says "Tell us about your life, maybe that will jog your memory."

The old man says "Well, I only had one child, a son."

Jesus smiles and says "Heh, I was an only child too. Go on."

The man say...

My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: ‘You’re on drugs again!!!’ She could be right..

I’m an only child.

I remember my mother telling me, “I have no favorite child.”

Harsh seeing as I’m an only child.

"Mommy?" little Johnny asks, "who is your favorite child?"

His mom replies: "Johnny, you know I can't answer this. I don't have a favorite child."

"But mommy," Johnny says, "I am your only child."

Why does the redneck not have a girlfriend?

He is an only child

When I was a child we had a sandbox.

It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.

Traumatized son

A young boy, an only child no more than ten years old, wakes up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

As he is walking to the restroom, he opens his parents' bedroom door and sees them copulating quite vigorously. The boy screams in horror. The mom throws the dad off and attempts...

A boy asked his father a question.

"Dad, how does abortion work?" The father laughed and said "It's complicated, ask your sister." The boy was confused and said "But Dad, I'm an only child!" The father laughed again and said "Exactly."

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Quite the Pickle

When my grandmother died, as an only child my father had to clean out her place. When he came upon her recipe box, he sat on the floor and went through them slowly. Many had been handed down to her from her mother, my great-grandmother. One by one, he closed his eyes and remembered the simple joy of...

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What do you call a virgin redneck?

An only child.

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Almost...

The kindergarten teacher is warned about little Johnny’s vulgar mouth. He uses any excuse to say a bad word.

The teacher announces, “Class, today we are going to work on our alphabet. Who can spell a simple word that starts with ‘A’?”

Little Johnny’s hand shoots up. “Oh! Oh! Pick me...

I hear that you're supposed to learn from your mistakes

Probably why I'm an only child.

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The first time I got high was very intense. I was at the back seat of my brother’s car.

It must have been some really good shit, as I am an only child.

My parents said they would never play favorites...

Which is sad considering I was an only child

Eddy and his crush

Eddy was just a regular guy. Except for the fact that he was an only child and the fact that his billionaire father was breathing his last. Since Eddy was a soon to be billionaire it only made sense that he should have a woman to share his riches with.

Eddy approached his childhood crush. “H...

I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid....

But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang.

What's the worst thing that could happen if you don't use a condom?

Your parents would know!

* My friend said this to me since I'm an only child *

A man walked into a restaurant on a slow night...

...and sat down. He seemed unsure what to order.

The waiter asked him if he wanted a hamburger, and he said, "No thanks, I tried it once but I didn't like it."

So the waiter responded, "Well would you like a pizza?" but the man answered, "No, I tried it once but I didn't like it"
...

Lone Child

My friend showed this joke to me and I had to post it on Reddit

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."

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