A man rolls through a Stop sign…

An officer sees this, and pulls the man over.

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” The officer asks.

“No sir,” the man replies.

“Then please step out of the vehicle,” the officer commands. The man complies, and the officer starts rapidly beating him with his baton.

“Ow o...

Why did the blonde sit at the Stop sign for five minutes?

She was waiting for it to change to 'Go'

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A London lawyer runs a stop sign..

And gets pulled over by an Irish cop. This hotshot sure knows he's better educated and definitely smarter than some random Irish cop. He decides to prove to himself how smart he is while having some fun at the cop.

Irish cop:"License and registration, please."

"What for?", lawyer asks....

A cop pulls over a old lady for running a stop sign at an intersection.

As he approaches the car he notices 6 penguins in the back seat of her car. She rolls down the window and the cop says "Ma'am I pulled you over because you ran that stop sign back there, but now that I am here I have to say, you cant just be driving around with these penguins in your car. You shou...

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff.

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come ...

What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

A lawyer is driving a car down the street and instead of stopping at the stop sign, the lawyer slows down. A policeman sees this and pulls the car over and asks the man why he didn’t stop at the stop sign?

**“It’s the same thing,” the lawyer stated, “I don’t believe there is a difference between stop and slow down.”**

**“Allow me to prove it to you,” the policeman said. He asks the lawyer to step out of his car and suddenly starts hitting him with his baton.**

**After a lot of pain that ...

A police officer pulled over a lawyer who had failed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign.

The lawyer argued his case that the spirit of the law was simply that the maneuver be safe and since he hadn't caused an accident his actions complied with the law.

The officer disagreed and informed the lawyer he would issue him a ticket.

"I will accept that ticket if you can explain ...

Seems a guy in Texas makes a rolling stop at a stop sign, and gets pulled over by a local policeman.

Guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.

"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well then, better tell me what you got."

Smith says, "Well, I got a .357 revolv...

A bus driver was heading down a street. He went right past a stop sign without stopping. Next he turned left where there was a "no-left turn" sign. Finally he went the wrong way down a one-way street. He didn't break any traffic laws. How?

He was walking.

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A woman was racing home; running stop signs and drifting around corners...

She came hauling ass into the driveway; car screeching to a hault. She ran straight into the house. Slammed the door and shouted excitedly:

"Honey, pack your bags; I just won the lottery!"

Husband came out of his office, and ran up to the banister.

"Oh my god! What should I pack...

What did the stop sign say to the pickup truck?

Stop!

A lawyer was late for an appointment at his office and decided to run a stop sign.

As luck would have it, a farmer was proceeding through on his tractor at that very moment, and there was a tremendous crash! Fortunately, no one was hurt.

The lawyer decided to go on the offense and jumped out of his car.

"You idiot!" he yelled. "Why weren't you paying attention? Now...

A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet...

But I can only walk so fast.

If robots can’t identify stop signs or traffic lights in captcha images...

maybe self-driving cars are a bad idea.

Four Canadians arrived at an all-way stop sign from each direction at exactly the same time

They're still there

My friends are constantly asking me to stop signing Oasis songs.

I said maybe.

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A Police Officer sees a man in a car run a stop sign.

The Police Officer pulls out onto the road and turns his lights and sirens on. Once the man pulls over, the Police Officer gets out and approaches the driver side window.

Officer - "I pulled you over because you ran that stop sign. You didn't stop before you went through the intersection."...

A police officer pulls up to a stop sign

A police officer pulls up to a stop sign with a beaten up Toyota Camry in front of him. The officer comes to a stop and waits, but the Camry refuses to move. The officer waits a minute and begins to get agitated. Finally, the officer gets out of the police car and walks up to the Camry. The window c...

A man rolls thru a STOP sign and a cop pulls him over

"I pulled you over because you failed to stop at that stop sign. You only slowed down."


"Slow down... stop... what's the difference?"


The cop pulls the man out of his car and begins beating him with his nightstick.

"Now you tell me whether you want me to stop... or slow...

So a guy stops at a stop sign and he sees a car full of penguins next to him.

He asks 'What's up with all the penguins?'

The other guy answers, 'I don't know. I stopped at a light and then all these penguins jumped in my car. I don't know what to do with them.'

'Maybe you should take them to the zoo.'

The other guy says 'That's a great idea!' and drives o...

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A stop sign in the country

A lawyer from the big city was traveling through a small town in the countryside when he came upon a stop sign. He slowed down and after seeing the way was clear went right on through the stop.

Suddenly a cop comes flying up on him from nowhere and pulls him over.

The countryside cop w...

Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?

He was studying sign waves.

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A guy California short stops a stop sign

And keeps going down an empty road. A cop who was sitting at the opposite corner sees this and pulls him over.
As he heads towards the drivers side door, the driver is rolling down his window and asks "What seems to be the issue, officer?"

"Well, I saw you didn't stop at the stop sign," h...

Man at a stop sign

So , a police officer is monitoring a road that has a stop sign and is known to be a problem for people who don't come to a full and complete stop.

After a few minutes he observes a person come to the stop sign, slow down and proceed on thru.

He stops the person and starts to write the...

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A man approaches a stop sign...

.. and as he usually does, he slows down a good bit, then continues rolling through the stop sign, without stopping completely.

An officer sees the man roll through the stop sign and pulls him over. The cop, in typical fashion, asks him, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" as the man gets ou...

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A policeman pulls over a woman for failing to stop at a stop sign.

The woman protests "but I slowed down".

The officer says "it's a stop sign. You are supposed to come to a complete stop".

The woman replies, "but I slowed down, that's the same thing".

The officer then says, "no it's not! You rolled right through the intersection! You didn't ...

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A police officer pulls a man over because he hadn't obeyed the stop sign. The cop approaches the window...

Cop-"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver-"I didn't do anything wrong"

Cop-"You didn't stop at the stop sign, you only slowed down, and that is still illegal"

Driver-"slowing down, stopping, same thing! That's bull shit! I was still being careful!"

Cop-"step out of...

Drunk people run stop signs...

... people who are high, stop and wait for them to change.

Yes Sir, Officer. I saw the stop sign.

I just didn't see you.

A big city lawyer runs a stop sign

in a little Southern nowhere kind of town. He gets pulled over by the local sheriff. The lawyer, being very studied and knowledgeable, believes he can easily outsmart the poor hick. So the sheriff comes to his window and says, "You didn't stop at that stop sign." "It's okay officer, I slowed down," ...

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A man gets pulled over for rolling a stop sign

The officer tells him, “You didn’t stop. You just slowed down and kept going.”

The man says, “what’s the difference whether I stopped or slowed down?”

The cop thinks for a moment, pulls out his police baton, and starts hitting the man’s car.

“What the hell!” The man exclaims. “...

Why did the Yield Sign want to divorce the Stop Sign?

He caught her in a 4-way

A driver does a rolling stop at a STOP sign

A police officer happens to be there and pulls the driver over.

The officer goes up to the car and asks the driver if he knows why he has been pulled over.

The driver responds "No" with confusion.

The officer states that the driver stop at the intersection.

"But I slowe...

A cop pulls over a guy who just ran a stop sign.

Cop: You ran that stop sign back there.

Driver: Oh, come on now officer, it's called a California stop! I slowed down and no one was coming so I just rolled through.

Cop: Step out of the car please, sir.

Driver: What? Why? This is outrageous! I slowed down, and no one was ev...

I got pulled over for running a stop sign.

The cop says, "Didn't you see the stop sign?"

Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.

Stop sign

A guy is driving, comes up to a four way stop. He slows down, looks down each street quickly and goes through the sign. A few moments later a police officer pulls him over.
The officer approaches the driver, asks "do you know why I pulled you over?".
The driver sighs, "yes, it's because I sl...

What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

When driving, a drunk will approach a stop sign and may speed right through it.

A stoner will actually stop... and wait for it to turn green.

A woman goes to a Porsche Dealership

A Woman goes to a Porsche Dealship to get a car

\-I need a car, said the woman

\-Of Course! what do you have in mind?

\-Looking for a convertible

\-Then you might be interested in the 911 GTS Cabrio

The price was very expensive but she still bought it

weeks ...

A man gets pulled over for running a stop sign in the middle of the night.

Officer says "Evening sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?" Man says "Yeah I guess I kind of rolled through that stop sign. It's late and there's no traffic so I just slowed down instead of stopping. No big deal right?" Officer thinks for a moment and then begins punching the man repeatedly in th...

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The Stop Sign

A business man was very late for work one day and was driving recklessly. As he pulled up to a STOP sign, he simply slowed down a bit, and then continued at his original pace.
A police officer caught him in the act and pulled him over and explained his mistake.
"Come on," said the man...

I'm fine..

A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.

'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor?
Paddy responded: 'Well,...

Driving in Georgia

I was driving through rural Georgia one day. I came to a stop sign. Being from the big city, I just did a kind of rolling stop through the sign.

A Georgia Highway Patrol spotted me and pulled me over. He came up to the window and said, "Boy, you know why I pulled you over"?

I said, ...

A farmer was in court being questioned by a lawyer.

The lawyer asks the farmer ‘did you tell the officer you were fine?’

The farmer replies ‘well I was crossing the road when the semi...’

The lawyer cuts him off and says ‘it’s a yes or no question. Did you tell the officer you were fine?’

The farmer again starts to say ‘well I wa...

A Police Officer Pulls Over a Car With Four People in it.

When the driver opens the window, he proceeds to say, "Congratulations, because everyone has their seatbelt on today, you are going to win a $200 gift card!"

The driver responds, "Oh thank goodness, I thought you were pulling me over for running that stop sign a mile back."

The front s...

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Old World War II political joke my granddad told me when I was a kid.

I'll try to retell it exactly as he told it to me when I was about seven or so.

>There's this intersection with a four way stop. Four cars displaying reichstag flags approach the intersection. You know, like those official flags the president's got, except they got the kraut eagle and car...

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A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer.

The officer asks the lawyer "Do you know why I pulled you over?"


"I haven't the foggiest idea," said the lawyer.


The officer replied, "You didn't make a full stop at the stop sign back there. You only slowed down."


The lawyer thinks for a few seconds then says, "If y...

There was a protest against deaf people.

Everyone brought "stop signs".

A Scary Midnight Story

A taxi driver is going home at midnight when he decides to take a shortcut through a cemetery. He's driving slowly through the dark when he suddenly stops in shock. In front of his headlights is a lady in white hailing him down.

Before he has time to think, the woman climbs in and says in a ...

A Bad Sign

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. A Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him.

He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had s...

A man catches a cab in a new city

A man lands in a new city and catches a cab to the hotel. As they approach a red light, the cab driver keeps going, not stopping.

Man asks what’s going on?
Cab driver responds “oh don’t worry, my brother always runs through red lights.”

They keep going, and the cab driver doesn’t e...

A man is pulled over by a cop.

The officer walks up to the car, gets the driver's license and registration, and tells him he was stopped because he failed to come to a complete stop at the stop sign.

The driver replies, "I slowed down. There was no one coming, so I drove on through."

The officer replies, "You are re...

I heard a story once about an American train driver.

He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a result his train hit a person and killed them immediately. He was tried for manslaughter and sentenced to the electric chair. Just before being put in the chair, he was given th...

A farmer is in court, suing the trucking company whose truck injured him in an accident

He is on the stand, and the company's lawyer is questioning him, trying to disprove the merit of his claim.
"Mister Brown," the lawyer says, "did you not tell the responding officer, after the crash, that you were -and I quote- fine?"
"Well," says the farmer, "you see, I was driving my mule to...

In laws these days!

In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his left, and cruised straight through the stop sign.

“Sir! You didn’t look to your right,” yelled the frightened inspector.

...

Stop Means Stop (Long)

While on a business trip in Dublin from London, a young lawyer ran a stop sign and got pulled over. Having heard before that the Irish Police are not the cleverest bunch this lawyer thought to himself "This will be easy".
"Good evening officer, how can i help you today?" The Lawyer says politel...

So there’s this rich dying vampire who tells his three sons that he’ll give one one of them his fortune.

The three of them decide to have a blood sucking contest to decide who gets the fortune.

On the first night, the oldest brother goes out. He comes back with blood dripping down his chin. His brothers ask him how he did it and he points to a dead man. “See that guy over there? I drank all of h...

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A Jew and his son enter a taxi in New York

“How much to Washington?” asks the Jew.

“For that distance, it’ll be about $500,” replies the driver.

“Could you drive me for free?” asks the Jew.

The driver ponders this.

“Fine, but you can’t say a word while I’m driving.”

So they leave New York and go towards...

I heard this in at the barber shop from an old patron, it's my favorite joke.

There's a butcher tending to his shop when a dog walks in.

The dog has a note in his mouth, with a $10 bill attached.

The butcher bends down and picks the note out of the dog's mouth, reading aloud he says: "2 pork chops please" and the dog sits.

The butcher, highly impressed,...

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O Dick NSFW, Long

A recently married soldier was coming up on the end of his leave. Although things between him and his new wife were wonderful, he worried about her loyalty while he was gone. Resolved to find her something that would occupy her time and satisfy her until he could return home, the man went into a nea...

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A high-class London lawyer gets stopped by police...

A high class stuck-up London lawyer gets pulled over by traffic police for failing to stop at a stop sign.

Officer: 'License and registration please'

Lawyer: 'Why?'

Officer: 'Because you failed to stop at the stop sign back there'

Lawyer: 'But I slowed down and could see ...

Grandpa told me this one last night at dinner

A lawyer is driving down the quiet country road and is approaching a stop sign. The road is completely devoid of people or other drivers, so the lawyer just slows down a bit to be safe, but otherwise drives through the intersection.

Suddenly a siren goes off and seemingly out of nowhere a po...

True Story. So my grandpa, my father and I were out on a car ride to the beach when I was 11.

I always loved riding with my grandpa because he told all of his war stories from serving in WWII, and as a kid they were always cool to hear.

We stopped at a stop sign, and a car with 3 asian kids pulled up behind us ( maybe 18/19 year olds) and immediately started blaring the horn. My gran...

A driver gets pulled over . . .

A man gets pulled over for rolling through a stop sign. While the officer is doing the routine license check, he spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.

The cop tells the driver, "I'll let you off this time, but you need to take those penguins straight to the zoo." The drive...

HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Atlana. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-285 is...

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I'm driving slowly down a quiet street with no one in sight.

I come up to a stop sign and slow down and it's quite obvious that there's no one remotely near the intersection because there's perfect visibility in all direction.

Just when I cross the intersection a motorcycle cop pops out from behind some bushes where he was hiding. Apparently there was...

I drive like my brother

I’m driving with this guy, and he runs right through a Stop sign. So I say, “Hey, that was a Stop sign.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!”

A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say, “You just ran a red light.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!”

So now we’...

A man gets pulled over...

A man gets pulled over by a local sheriff. The sheriff walks up to the man’s window and says “I pulled you over because you didn’t come to a full stop at that stop sign back there.”

“Yeah, but I slowed down...” the man tells him.

Quickly, the sheriff reaches into the man’s car, grabs h...

A man is driving home from work in a suburb late at night...

And all the streets are empty. He rolls up to a stop sign at a T intersection and checks to make sure no cars are coming even though obviously no one is on the road in front of him. He rolls almost to a stop and continues. A couple minutes later he hears a siren and curses as he’s pulled over by a ...

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.

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Woman vs. Cab Driver

A mother and her young son hail a cab driver to go across town. During the drive, the boy keeps pointing to things outside and asking "what's that? what's that" The mom was doing best to answer his questions, until they pull up to a stop sign. Once again, the boy asks "What's that?" and points to...

I saw a sign...

It said "Slow." I thought "What did you just call me!?" Then I saw a Stop sign and thought "If you think you can tell me what to do right after an insult, you have grossly overestimated your power!"

Then I got T-Boned by a Cop car.

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