UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Somebody once told me a story…

…and today I’d like to share it with you:

Once upon a time, there was a farmer in Scotland. His name was William McKellen.

William had a faithful horse, named Star. She was his best friend out there in the Highlands.

Every morning, the two would go out to the grass fields. Far...

Somebody once told me that I was very mean

I said that's not true, sometimes I'm very median

Sorry, that was an average joke

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me

Then someone else told me shootings happened because of video games

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Somebody once told me to ask for forgiveness, not permission...

Great, now I'll never get anal OR dinner ever again

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Somebody once told me that I was going to be a great man

...that asshole lied to me.

I heard that Shrek’s coming to our town

I know this because someBODY once told me!

A local earthquake station gets an anonymous tip...

One day a local scientist named Steve was sent a mysterious email. The email read:

Steve I know who you are, and where you live. My name must remain anonymous, so as of now you may refer to me as "Somebody". Steve I contact you because my independent studies have discovered a massive earthqua...

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