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Small Boat Jokes

I once made a small boat out of a large bell.

It was a little dingy

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.

### A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.


Another two blondes drive past and see her struggling.


The driver says “look at that idiot! She gives smart blondes like us a bad name!” ...

Two fisherman sit in a small boat close to the shore

Suddenly one of them pulls a mermaid out of the water, shakes his head, unhooks her and throws her back into the water.

The other one is dumbfounded and asks: "Why?"

To which he answers: "How?"

A guy goes fishing with Jesus in a small boat.

In the excitement of bringing in a fish one of the paddles gets dislodged and starts to float away. No problem I'll go get it says Jesus, and he just steps out and walks over to where it is and picks it up casually walking back to the boat.
Later his friends are asking him about their time on the...

What does Donald Trump call small boats used by fairies?

Fey canoes

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One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.

As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She appr...

A man has the opportunity to win a million dollars if he can cross lake Superior in a 16 foot sailboat...

The people sponsoring the challenge give the man two choices of what he can bring on the boat to assist him. He can either bring a large box of novels or two criminals. However, the people running the competition get to choose what the books are and who the criminals are.

The man realizes the...

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Bill and George buy a small boat...

and Bill has a stutter. So they're out in the middle of the sea and George decides that they should each watch opposite sides of the boat and warn the other if they see anything.

After a few minutes Bill starts saying: "Sh-sh-sh-sh." But before he could finish his sentence a giant ship hit th...

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Two Irishmen are lost at sea in a small boat

They drift for days. One day a lamp floats up and the one feller picks it up and gives it a rub. A Gennie pops out and says "Thank you for waking me, you get 1 wish." The Irishmen blurts out without thinking "I wish the whole fookin ocean was made of whiskey!!" Boom the water turns to smooth Iri...

To earn extra money, I started a home-based business building small boats in my attic ...

Business was really slow until I switched to larger vessels, and now sails are through the roof!

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

A Sargent in the army is out fishing with a navy sailor

A big gust of wind hits their small boat, and it capsizes. The Sargent starts to swim to shore, but he notices his friend is sinking and panicking in the water, so swims back, and pulls him to safety.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this.” The sailor says, “If people found out I can’t swim I’...

A guy was paddling a small boat on a lake when it got very cold so he started a fire. He should have known better because ...

You can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton are stuck in the middle of the ocean on small boat together with no food, who survives?

America.

Nighttime. You're alone on a small boat at sea, hours away from any land. All you brought with you is a pack of cigarettes. You wanna smoke, but realize you forgot a lighter. What do you do?

You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water... thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi go fishing

After rowing thier small boat to thier favorite spot, the priest says to the rabbi;

"This a great spot. Lots of nice fish"

After about an hour, the priest stands up announces he needs to answer the call of nature, steps out of the boat and walks across the water to shore, disappears f...

2 newfies go fishing

So they go to the local marina and rent a small boat. After trying several spots they find a good spot and land many nice fish.

The guy in the front says to his buddy:

" This is a great spot, we should mark it"

So his pal pulls a sharpie marker out of his coat and draws a big X...

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Gary and Pete, 2 alcoholics, were lost at sea.

While floating in their small boat, they spotted a bottle on the water.
Gary quickly grabbed the bottle and took out the cork.
To his shock, a genie flew out.
"You have freed me. You may have a wish."
Gary thought hard and pointed at the sea.
"Turn all this water into Guiness."
...

Jacob was a religious man.

He attended church regularly. He was a Deacon in his church. He raised his family to believe in the Lord, but never passed judgement on anyone, believing that judgement was reserved for God alone. When he saw others going astray he would keep his thoughts to himself, unless asked. In short, he alway...

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A Japanese sailor sent out an SOS call.

Just as he is sinking a small boat from the Vladivostok coastguard arrives. Four men greet him and help him onboard.

The first gives him a towel. The sailor dries himself and tries to thank the man, but neither speak each others language very well. The second gives him a warm military jacket...

My favorite joke when I was a kid..

There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.

The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"


The Italian throws out pasta.


The Chinese throws out rice.

...

I'm the captain now...

I work for a large shipping company. While in international waters, a small boat collided with our giant ship. Next thing we know, we're over run with armed people. I saw one in the captains quarters and they were talking. The captain shook his head no and pointed to a sign. The armed men calmly got...

Why God?

One day it began to rain very hard. It rained for hours. There was a man standing outside his house in the rain praying.

When the rain was up to his knees a canoe came by. The people in the boat told him to get on board before he drowned. The man replied "don't worry God will save me."...

A young man named Theseus moves to a lakeside fishing village looking for work

When he arrives, he finds one of the residents, Justin, is interested in going out and seeing the world, and wants to sell his fishing boat to fund that trip. Thinking that it might be a good way to make a living, Theseus buys the boat and spends the next few years learning the trade, establishing a...

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A blonde walking along the road one day...

So a blonde was walking along a road one day, next to a field of grass. She looked out, and there in the middle of a field was a another blonde women, sitting in a small boat, rowing furiously. The blonde on the road yelled out.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

The blonde in the boat y...

A scholar and a fisherman

A scholar is travelling in a small boat with a poor fisherman across a large lake.


The scholar asks the fisherman "did you learn how to read?“


The fisherman replies "no, I have not"


"What a pathetic waste of your life!“ sneered the scholar. "Half your life has been w...

A ship's captain out at sea notices smoke on the horizon...

...he orders the ship to head towards the smoke. As the ship gets closer to the source of the smoke, the captain can see through his binoculars a deserted island with three huts and a man waving his arms to be rescued.

The ship sends a small boat to the island which returns with the man grat...

Stranded

One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat or even a raft..
Suddenly there emerged...

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This was the first long joke I ever learned. Interview with a pirate.

There was a pirate who had agreed to do an interview with a local tv station. The reporter was very courteous and professional, giving a bit of background as to the pirate's business. She then began interviewing him.

"So Mr. Longbeard, are there any risks to your business? I see you have a pe...

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