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Ireland Declares War on France

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," the President of France ...

Why do the Irish wear shamrocks?

Real rocks are too heavy.

That's a nice shamrock you've got there.

It would be a shame if someone replaced the -rock with an e.

Why shouldn't you iron a shamrock?

Because you don't want to press your luck!

What do you get when you cross Vince Offer and Dwayne Johnson?

A ShamRock

Why would an imitation diamond remind you of St. Patrick's Day?

Because it's a shamrock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Al the Irish jokes I've heard - Irish this sub a happy St. Patrick's Day!:

* What do you get when you cross a 4 leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
* What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
* Why shouldn't you iron a 4-leaf clover? You'd be pressing your luck.
* What instrument did the diva musician play on St. Patrick's day? Brag-pipes....

What do you call a fake Irish diamond?

A shamrock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and an Arab

are out in the desert and completely starved of sex. Then, one day, they see a beautiful woman in an oasis, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, on which is a red rose.
The Englishman declares "I claim this woman by the red rose of England", and removes the pants. Underneath he finds a second pa...

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