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Scary Movie Jokes

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A scary movie

I was watching a movie with my son the other day.

He got scared and asked me: “mummy? Is that lady going to die?”

I said: “judging by the size of that horse’s cock, yes.”

How does a monster watch a scary movie?

It goes to a screaming service.

Did you see the review for the scary movie about pogo sticks?

It has its ups and downs, but too many jump scares for me.

My friend wanted a scary movie recommendation

I suggested An Inconvenient Truth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guys have a sleep over

3 guys have a sleep over after watching a scary movie, they all decide to stay in the same bed. The next morning the guy on the left says " last night i had the best dream a beautiful blonde girl was wanking me off " The guy on the right says " That's strange I had a similar dream except the girl wa...

My mom told me that if I watched scary movies, the monster could come out of the TV and haunt the house..

So I only watched them at my friends' house.

Politely asking

I love how in scary movies the person yells out 'Hello?' As if the killer is going to be like " yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"

Why is six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven is a very scary movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timmy and Johnny having a relaxing day at the house.

Timmy and Johnny, two brothers were having a relaxed day at the house, Timmy, the older one was out splitting wood when Johnny comes and asks him if he could help, Timmy asks in reply "Can your pecker touch your asshole?" Johnny says "No." and Timmy tells him when his pecker can touch his asshole he...

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