Samaritan Jokes

As the bus stopped & it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed & with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little thinking that this... read more

A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep".
<... read more

Her: Yes, how can I help you today?

Me: I have just won the lottery, I am dating a 19 year old model and I have just inherited a brewery...

Her: So what seems to be the problem?

Me: No problem, I just thought you might wanna hear some good news for a change

An older couple are in bed at their country home during a bad thunderstorm. There is a surprising knock at the door. The husband goes downstairs to see who it is. A man in soaking wet clothes is standing there and asks "Can you please give me a push?" The older husbands responds with a resounding "N... read more

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They driv... read more

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

But they told me I wasn't good at listening and I said "what?" and they said I wasn't good at listening.

-- This joke was made by a friend on facebook in the UK who currently has a really really bad time - homeless and suicidal. I found the joke really funny. Would be really nice if I could s... read more

Yesterday I was in Southwest Little Rock and got behind an ambulance. I noticed a small metal box sitting on the back bumper. When the ambulance turned the corner the box flew off and landed on the curb. I thought it's time to be a good Samaritan so I pulled over and picked up the box. When I opene... read more

He left him hanging.

A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.

GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"

... read more

Other patrons decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. They prop him up and assist him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car and he falls down four more times. They finally carry him to his front door and ring ... read more

One day, as he is driving his fancy car down the road, he is singing to himself “I love my BMW, I love BMW.” He was so wrapped up in his song he missed a turn and hit a tree. Surprisingly he survived, but instead of calling for help he was crying out “my BMW, oh my BMW.” Just then a good Samaritan d... read more

From afar, the bartender and another gentleman watch as the man keeps falling, getting up, falling, getting back up.

The bartender tells the gentleman, "Why don't you be a Good Samaritan and take the guy home?" The gentleman agrees.

He goes to pick up and carry the man. The man keeps ... read more

A guy was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible to get.
A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be
good Samaritans and take him home.



First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can
find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down.
He fell down ei... read more

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys wer... read more

He doesn't see a price tag. "That's a nice TV!! How much are you asking for it?" he asks.

Owner replies, "Yes, this is an excellent television and it is all yours for just $1!"

Confused, the guy inquires, "One dollar?! Does it even work? What is wrong with it?"

The owner reassu... read more