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Record Shop Jokes

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He li...

A guy is record shopping at a local music store…

and goes up to the clerk and says “I’m looking for that classic 90s Seattle grunge sound on vinyl if you carry it.” Clerk says reluctantly, “I’m sorry the only styles we carry are children’s, Christian, classical, or folk.” The man looks puzzled and becomes a tad irate. He responds back saying, “You...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes into a record shop

and says "do you have any sound effects albums of insect noises? Crickets, cicadas, beetles, that sort of thing?"

Store guy: "yeah only this second hand vinyl, should be perfect though."

Guy buys the record but he's back to the shop within the hour, says "sorry mate this record is no...

A wasp expert walks into a record shop

He goes to the owner and asks if they have the new edition of wasp sounds 2019.
The record shop owner says that they have it in stock and asks if the wasp expert would like to listen too it before he buys.

The wasp expert agrees and the record is placed on the record player.
The pin goe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album

The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."

Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."

I went to a record shop and asked them for something by The Smiths.

The owner went out the back and came back with a longsword and pair of gauntlets.

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like t...

So i went to the record shop and asked the assistant 'What have you got by the Doors? "

He said "An exit sign and a fire bucket"

I went to a record shop to buy my dad a new vinyl, I said “what’ve you got by the doors?”

He said “a bucket of sand and a fire extinguisher”



- Tim Vine

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