Procrastinators are constantly mad at themselves about how they keep procrastinating and telling themselves that they'll "do better tomorrow"

But that's a story for another day

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.

We haven’t met yet.

There are 2 reasons you shouldn't rely on procrastinators.

1). They never finish anything

My mom told me I’d never accomplish anything because I’m such a procrastinator

So I said “Just wait!”

A man, a terrible worrier and procrastinator, is sitting with his doctor, anxiously discussing the results of a medical...

After an hour or more of waiting and hesitating and prevaricating and generally delaying the inevitable, finally the man draws a deep breath.

"Look doc - my chances - can't you tell me without telling me?"

The doctor looks at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Well," says the...

Where do procrastinators live?

In Neverland.

What do you call a habitual procrastinator?

A pro procrastinator.

NOTICE: Procrastinators meeting at 8 P.M. tonight

Edit: 9 P.M.

Edit: 10 P.M.


... tommorow maybe?

How do you get a procrastinator off of Reddit?

There is no punchline I actually need help please I have a 10 page paper due at midnight someone help please

I wanted to start a procrastinator club

But I've decided to wait

A procrastinator walks into a bar...


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist just told me I might be a chronic procrastinator and that it will seriously affect my life. I'm not worried though

I'll figure out what procrastination means later

What's the one good thing about being a depressed procrastinator?

You'll always put off killing yourself.

This book, “The Procrastination Cure: 21 Proven Tactics For Conquering Your Inner Procrastinator”

I have had it in my Amazon shopping cart for six months, I will probably order it tomorrow.

What is a procrastinator's favorite condiment?


Why don't procrastinators make it to the Olympics?

Because they only allow amateurcrastinators.

I'm a procrastinator and a perfectionist.

Someday I'm going to be perfect.

A Procrastinator Built A Time Machine

Well, not yet, but he's planning on getting started last week.

Scooby Doo is a procrastinator.

I've never heard him say, "Scooby Dooby Done!"

Doctor Who is a terrible procrastinator.

He leaves everything for earlier.

I Am A Professional Procrastinator. Ask Me Anything

I'll be back to answer your questions in a few minutes.

Have you heard the one about a chronic procrastinator?

....never mind, I'll tell you later.

My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators.

They haven't conducted the first session yet.

I heard a hilarious joke about this procrastinator

But I don't feel like telling you guys about it yet.

Me: man I reckon i'm the greatest procrastinator in the world, no one's better at procrastination than me

Friend: oh really? how about we have a contest

Me: yeah sure just gimme 5 minutes

What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline?

I'll tell you tomorrow

The world's greatest procrastinator walked into a bar.


I think I'm going to create procrastinators anonymous

Eh I'll do it tommorow.

Have you heard about the one about suicidal procrastinator

He lived a long healthy life.

A procrastinator walks into a bar

I'll post the rest later..

70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. ..

The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet.

Dyslexic procrastinators, it's time to get together and rise up

Get on your work boots and untie

I always wanted to be procrastinator...

I just never got around to it.

Can we start a support group for procrastinators?

Yeah... Tomorrow though

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My teacher called me a procrastinator today.

But I'd say I'm more of an amateurcrastinator considering none of my endorsement checks have come in yet.

What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator?

Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it.

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

A procrastinator and a depressed man walk into a bar...

Depressed man: I'm driving straight off a bridge tonight.

Procrastinator: I've been telling myself that for weeks.

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