UPJOKE
jayasuryanithya menenaidondla aidumeghana rajpadmapriyakunchacko bobanfilmcinematicfilmmakingfilmmakerfilmymicrofilmtelefilmfilmographyprojectionist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear Mary Poppins stopped wearing lipstick whilst giving head?

Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dicks atrocious.

How did Mary Poppins die?

Superkalifragilus ketoacidosis

I went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant last night.

Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious!

BREAKING NEWS ! Mary Poppins will no longer be endorsing ‘Rimmel Vibrant Shades’ lipstick - she claims it “breaks too easily” and it “makes her breath smell”.

She gave the following statement:

“The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis”..

Mary Poppins was talking to Un and Little Um...

She asked how often they used the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Um said he rarely used it. Little Um, who used it all the time said he never used it.

In other words, Um did a little, Little Um did a lie.

Why couldn't Mary Poppins keep her herb garden alive?

Because Bert kept stepping in the thyme.

They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery...

I deliver...

Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions

Mary Poppins in the 60's: "A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down."

Eli Lilly & Merck in the 00's, "A syringe-full of medicine makes the sugar go down."

Why did Burt put on weight after he ate Mary Poppins' cake?

It was super calorific

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ...

What would Mary Poppins call Gandhi if she ever met him?

A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

A little marry poppins

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Why did Mary Poppins have a heart attack?

Supercalifragilisticartherosclerosis.

How does Mary Poppins cure smelly feet?

Step in thyme.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight.

Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.”

Mary Poppins has moved to L.A. where she has opened a fortune-telling shop specializing in predicting future bad breath.

The sign outside reads: Super California Mystic Expert: Halitosis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone should really put marijuana butter on popcorn and sell it...

they could call it Mari Poppins.

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, n...

What do Ghandi and Mary Poppins have in common?

Gandhi's political power was born from his ultra modest means - but it came at a price. His feet were in terrible condition due to his insistence on wearing rough leather sandals. Hunger strikes weakened his immune system and he was very prone to illness, but in his moments of weakness, he is said t...

I can't wait to hear the big song from the new Mary Poppins movie...

SuperCapitalisticallyExploitingOldNostalgia

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've just killed my best friend

I didn't mean to.

All I did was give him a spoonful of sugar after his insulin.

That Mary Poppins is full of fucking shit.

What do you call a British nanny with an MDMA addiction?

Molly Poppins.

A general is inspecting the drydock where an advanced prototype is in the final stages of commissioning.

The project manager excitedly explains how the attack submarine will be much faster than an enemy due to an innovative design which drastically reduces drag forces. The general asks how progress is coming along.

The manager replies, “The propulsion system is complete, I think it's ready for ...

A guy I know works at the watch factory,

I ask him "So what do you do?"

He says "I stand around all day making faces"

^^^^thanks ^^^^Mary ^^^^Poppins

Visited the Doctor today

I told him every time I turn on the TV I see Mary Poppins, he reckons I have a bad case of the um diddle um diddle um diddle eye!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This maths test can predict your favourite film.

Not sure how it works but it does. Mine was Star Wars.
DON'T PEEP!

Pick a number between 1 and 9.

Multiply by 3.

Add 3 to that number.

Multiply by 3 again.

Add the 2 digits together.

Now discover your favourite film!
1. LOTR

2. Shawshank...

The lady next door ran over my cat.

She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at catching mice.

Courtesy of Mary Poppins.

Ghandi is my role model

Everyone knows about Gandhi. Pacifist, role model of MLK, and arguably the most important man in the movement of Indian independence. Of course, aside from his upstanding character, he did have a multitude of physical flaws. As an Indian peasant, he rarely wore shoes because he was too poor to affor...

A female drifter

I'm a drifter, a woman, and you don't find that much, especially in England. I run a scam pretending to be a nanny. Too recently, I had to eliminate some competition for the job. I got in, and got in real good with the parents. Scared the kids. I gave them LSD and forced them to consort with a schiz...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.