UPJOKE
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Inflation is really getting out of hand...

But that's just my 5 cents.

I knew my fetishes were getting out of hand, when I spanked a statue…

I had hit rock bottom

This Coronavirus fear is getting out of hand...

I accidentally sneezed on my monitor, and my antivirus software started running.

These cruise deals are getting out of hand

A month ago, if you paid $1500 you could cruise for seven days. But right now if you pay $219, you can cruise for the rest of your life!

Reddit censorship is getting out of hand

[removed]

This clown fad is getting out of hand....

They are even running for president of the United States.

“Your gambling addiction is getting out of hand”

"I bet you $50 it isn’t mate"

Microtransactions are getting out of hand.

Even the internet is Pai to win!

My mate's gambling is getting out of hand.

He's just bet his newborn son in our game of poker.

I thought, "I might have to raise him."

Political Correctness is out of hand

You can't even say "black paint" anymore,
You have to say "Tyrone, please paint my fence."

These iPhone names are getting out of hand!

We seem to have an XS

Game of Thrones is really getting out of hand...

Even websites are dying in the new season.

The obesity epidemic is getting out of hand.....

Americans are becoming huge targets overseas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These jokes about semen are getting out of hand

Seriously guys, put a sock in it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I was addicted to masturbation and then I got addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to assume my addiction got out of hand?

My friend told me that my fruit puns were getting out of hand.

He is just jealous that son of a peach.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex...

Is it fair to say his addiction is getting out of hand?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is getting way out of hand. For the past week, every morning at 6am sharp, a German Shepherd has come in to my garden and taken a giant poop, right there on the lawn. And you'll never believe what happened today...

He brought his dog with him.

How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?

The blind start reading your face.

The #Metoo movement is getting out of hand! Now there are assault allegations against Slenderman!

But don't worry, they're all faceless accusations.

My gambling addiction must be getting out of hand because I've just lost my wife in a game of poker...

She said "How could you do such a thing, losing your wife in a stupid card game!?"

I replied, "Sorry honey, it was very hard for me at the time."

She said, "What do you mean?"

I replied, "Well, it wasn't easy, folding when I had four aces."

Yesterday my brother uploaded a status on Facebook.

He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"

I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.

You know when you lie, things can get out of hand very quickly.......

For example I heard about a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant and now there is an entire religion.

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."

I told the officer I w...

"Your obsession with Meatloaf is getting out of hand," raged my wife, "Something needs to be done about it, I think it's best that I leave."

I said, "You took the words right out of my mouth."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As you know, last year's Furrycon got out of hand. This year, I'm cracking down. Zero furry porn, and figure-hugging fursuits that are tight against the buttocks will not be allowed. This rule is 100% non-negotiable.

No yiffs, no butts.

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