This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took a poll on what people do with their off hand when they masturbate

A white guy said he holds the phone he's watching porn on. An Asian guy said he holds the tissue he finishes into. The black guy said "lol, you have an off hand?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly British couple are vacationing in Africa.

An elderly British couple have just arrived in Africa for a safari vacation and are being shuttled by taxi to their hotel. They drive by a rural village, and a man is outside, completely naked, with a ruler up against his penis.

"Blimey!" exclaims the wife, "what on earth is that bloke doing!...

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I was talking to a friend when she asked “do you wanna see a trick?”

Interested in what it was, I reply “sure, what do you have”

She pulls out a penny and asks “ do you smell anything?” Puzzled for a moment I reply “no, not really” she smirks “you should, it’s a cent.”

She then puts a second penny in front of the first and asks “do you see any fruit?” A...

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