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Nookie Jokes

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The Poem–by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.

What used to be my appeal,
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.

But now I’ve got a full time job,
To find the gosh darn thing.

It used to be embar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Muppet with a addiction?

Nookie Monster

The Marine and the Liberal Arts Major

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a v...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this young newlywed couple is on their honeymoon...

They're both kind of shy about , so they make an agreement after their very first encounter.

"I'll tell you what," she says. "Instead of any awkward requests for nookie, why don't you just reach over and squeeze my three times if you want . And if you don't want , squeeze it on...
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