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Math Problem Jokes

Just a little math problem for everyone

You purchase a social media company for $45 billion. After you make a series of bad managerial decisions, your company loses a large portion of its ad revenue. What is the value of X?

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question (Warning not suitable for people under the aged of 18 you have been warned)

Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny, cause the rest would fly away,
Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, but i like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny says i have a question for you. If t...

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Today, while constipated, I decided to solve a difficult math problem.

I was able to work it out with my pencil.

A boy is given the math problem...

What is 2 + 2? The boy is instructed to go home and find out the answer.

On his way home he encounters an accountant. The boy asks the accountant. What is 2+2?

The accountant replies, “If you have exactly 2 and add exactly 2, you get exactly 4.”

The boy moves on and encounters...

Only in math problems…

can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.

If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong...

Id have $1.74

Math Problem

Today's Math Problem:

If George is 68 and his girlfriend is 22, how much money does George have?

Girls are like math problems...

If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.

Math problem alarms

They are so easy i can do them in my sleep.

How does Al Gore solve math problems?

He uses an Al-Gore-ithm

Solve this math problem: 230 - 220 x 0.5

You may not believe it, but the answer is 5!

A teacher asks her student a math problem

"Ok, if Bob has three quarters, two dimes, and one nickel, how much does he have?"

The student thought for a moment then said, "Not enough. He's broke."

Math Problem

Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume?


A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)

What do babies and math problems have in common?

Until you use the right formula, they’re annoying as hell.

If 2020 was a math problem.

You are flying over the desert at 180 KPH, You are flying Due north with the wind coming from the west at 40 KPH. The current is flowing at 30 knots due east. How many 20 lb watermelons will fill a football field during the full moon?

The teacher presents a math problem to the class:

- There are 3 birds on a tree branch. A hunter shoots one of the birds with his gun. How many birds are left on the tree?

After many children raise their hand, the teacher chooses one of them to give the answer. The child replies:

- None. No birds remain on the tree, because the other ...

I treat relationships like math problems

Once I get confused I start cheating.

What's the worst smelling math problem?

Log((ne)^co)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A math problem

We start with a box of 26 balls, each with a letter printed on it. The balls are arranged so that the top row has 13 balls, the second to top, 7, the third 3, fourth 2, and finally 5th 1. Jenny is tasked with determing the minimum depth in which she would have to collect in order to get a specific l...

What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?

An ABBA-cus.

I spent the whole night trying to solve a math problem...

and then it dawned on me.

How can you tell when you're in a math problem?

Your pickup is full of watermelons, and your need to find out how much orange juice costs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the similarity between erect dicks and math problems

They are long and hard

What do you say to a math problem that you're procrastinating from?

Calculater.

Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem.

If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it.

I used to have a girlfriend that would give me math problems for fun.

I was solving for ex.

Classifying Math problems as linear and non-linear, is like...

Classifying the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.

Four professionals are interviewing for a math-intensive position in a company

The shortlist of applicants includes a mathematician, a physicist, an engineer, and an accountant.

To begin each interview, the representative from HR poses a simple math problem to warm up the candidates. What is 45+18?

The mathematician immediately responds "63".

The physicist...

An applicant is being interviewed for an engineering position

Interviewer: Your resume says that you can solve math problems quickly.


Applicant: Yes


Interviewer: Okay, what is 35 x 8?


Applicant: 250!


Interviewer: That's way off.


Applicant: Well, it is, but as my resume said, I'm a quick solver.

Can a blonde solve a math problem? (WARNING: math joke)

The odds are, they can't even

My blonde girlfriend told me that she wanted something "long and hard" for her birthday

So I gave her a math problem.

If I had a dozen muffins and Carlos took 13 away from me, what do I have now?

A math problem

Three fishermen were out fishing when they suddenly came upon a mermaid.....

The mermaid offered them one wish each,


so the first fisherman said:

"Double my IQ!"


So the mermaid did and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said:

"Triple my IQ!"

Sure enough the mermaid did and amazing...

There was a Political Drum-Off last week, sponsored by the mathletes...

Democrats and Republicans took turns showing off their best drum licks, while answering math problems in between.

Turns out the Republicans lost. They couldn't handle Al Gore rhythms.

Little Johnny was sitting in Geometry class

The teacher asks the class: "If a whale is swimming in the ocean at 314 miles per hour and the ocean impales it with a harpoon, what is the mass of the whale?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and says "That's impossible! What do you mean the ocean impaled it?"

"Well, it doesn't r...

I like how you think.

Ms. Kelly is teaching her first grade class about addition and subtraction. As the lesson concludes, she calls on each student to answer a simple math problem. Finally, she gets to Johnny.

"Johnny," Ms. Kelly begins, "if there are six birds on a telephone wire and you shoot two, how many ar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mathematician, an Astronomer, and a idiot go to heaven

They reach heavens doors to see God talking to the Devil. God turns to the three and says, “So Heaven is a little backed up right now and we can’t take everyone, so I struck a deal with the devil by asking him a question he can’t solve”

The Mathematician goes first says, “I need a chalkboard”...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

three men go to heaven

Three men died and went to heaven, one was a philosopher, one was a mathematician, and one was a common idiot. Well due to overcrowding in heaven, the devil and St.Paul decided that to get into heaven you would have to pass a test. The three men arrive at the pearly gates and St.Paul says "Alright, ...

An old lady at the clinic.

Doctor: I'm afraid to tell you that you have Alzheimer's disease.
Old lady: What? No way! I played poker, did math problems, and everything to prevent this...
Doctor: It's OK ma'am. Just keep doing what you're doing to prevent your condition from worsening.
Old lady: Sure.
Doctor...

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