UPJOKE

Math Problems Jokes

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question (Warning not suitable for people under the aged of 18 you have been warned)

Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny, cause the rest would fly away,
Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, but i like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny says i have a question for you. If t...

Only in math problems…

can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.

Girls are like math problems...

If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.

How does Al Gore solve math problems?

He uses an Al-Gore-ithm

I treat relationships like math problems

Once I get confused I start cheating.

What do babies and math problems have in common?

Until you use the right formula, they’re annoying as hell.

What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?

An ABBA-cus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the similarity between erect dicks and math problems

They are long and hard

Classifying Math problems as linear and non-linear, is like...

Classifying the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.

An applicant is being interviewed for an engineering position

Interviewer: Your resume says that you can solve math problems quickly.


Applicant: Yes


Interviewer: Okay, what is 35 x 8?


Applicant: 250!


Interviewer: That's way off.


Applicant: Well, it is, but as my resume said, I'm a quick solver.

There was a Political Drum-Off last week, sponsored by the mathletes...

Democrats and Republicans took turns showing off their best drum licks, while answering math problems in between.

Turns out the Republicans lost. They couldn't handle Al Gore rhythms.

An old lady at the clinic.

Doctor: I'm afraid to tell you that you have Alzheimer's disease.
Old lady: What? No way! I played poker, did math problems, and everything to prevent this...
Doctor: It's OK ma'am. Just keep doing what you're doing to prevent your condition from worsening.
Old lady: Sure.
Doctor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

three men go to heaven

Three men died and went to heaven, one was a philosopher, one was a mathematician, and one was a common idiot. Well due to overcrowding in heaven, the devil and St.Paul decided that to get into heaven you would have to pass a test. The three men arrive at the pearly gates and St.Paul says "Alright, ...

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