UPJOKE
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Know All Jokes

Did you know all protons have mass?

I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know all chickens die after having sex?

Well every chicken I’ve had sex with has.

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner. Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal. Husband: I know all that. Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?

Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

You know that prison joke where all the inmates know all the jokes already?

r/jokes is the prison

How do you know all suicide bombers self identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end

I’ll have you know, I know all of the Capitals in the UK

UK

I know all the digits of pi

Just not in order

I know all about it.

One day little timmy overheard a conversation on the bus where a man was telling his friend how he would get his wife to tell him whatever he wanted by saying "i know all about it"

Taking the knowledge of these words little timmy went home and was
greeted by his mother, to which he said ...

Did you know all gynecologists are Australian?

They're all bush doctors who work down under.

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know all there is to know about heterosexuals

Straight facts

Did you know all countries are 3rd world countries?

Earth is the 3rd world is it not?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

did you know all skeletons are gay?

of course not they're always in the closet

How do you know all ducks are druggies?

They're addicted to quack.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know all sheep have similar music tastes?

They all like music types such as Rock and Dubstep. So basically anything that has a lot of baaaaaaass.

Her: Wow, you know all the right moves in bed. How's about a second go but this time lose the hat

Ratatouille's Remy hiding in my hair: Tell her your head is cold

Did you know all the web addresses are piled together in Russia?

They're callrd the Url mountains

Did you know all French meter sticks are a foot shorter?

They have a habit of cutting the heads off their rulers.

Did you know all dogs carry a certain type of STD?

Yeah, they all have sniffilis

"Did you know all apples are yellow and curved"

"That's bananas"

Jeopardy is the one show where I know all the answers

I just don’t know the questions!

You think you know all about fractions...

But you don't know the half of it.

I know all the subjects of Hillary Clinton's emails, ask me anything

[Deleted]

i know all my jokes are dad jokes but...

You know what the majestic kodiak tells his cub...

Bear with me.

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