Nikita Khrushchev is giving a speech on the necessity of de-Stalinizing the country. Someone in the crowd yells "And why didn't you do anything about it before Stalin died?!"
Khrushchev stands straight up and bellows "WHO SAID THAT?!?", looking left and right. When there is absolute silence and no one owns up to it, he says (in a normal voice) "That is why".
What would have happened had it been Khrushchev instead of Kennedy that was assassinated?
Dunno about politics, but I'm really sure Onassis would not have married the widow.
Comrade Khrushchev goes to a pig farm and he is photographed there.
In the village newspaper office, there was a heated discussion about how to caption the photograph. “Pigs and Comrade Khrushchev”? “Comrade Khrushchev Among Pigs”? None will do. The editor finally makes a decision: “Third From Left: Comrade Khrushchev.”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Nikita Khrushchev sees his driver eating grass.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Sir, with the wages you've given me i can only feed my kids."
Khrushchev triples his wage.
Stalin's driver overheard this and decides to bite away at his lawn with a passion to elicit Stalin's empathy.
"What the hell are you doing?" ...
One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Khrushchev is a fool!"
He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets.
Khrushchev was giving a speech when a heckler in the audience shouted "Why did you never speak out against Stalin?"
Straight away Khrushchev bellowed "WHO SAID THAT?" and there was a rattle of safeties being taken off by his bodyguards. Nobody spoke. Khrushchev bellowed even louder "**WHO. SAID. THAT?!**". He gave a signal, one gesture of his hand. More armed men filed into the hall and stared intently down e...
A man arrives at a hotel after a long train journey, exhausted. He comes into a communal room and sees three other guys who are drunk and talking loudly.
They are cracking anti-government jokes and laughing at Khrushchev. The man is annoyed that he can't sleep so he hatches a plan. He walks out into a corridor and asks a staff member to bring him a cup of tea. He then comes back into the room and starts talking to the noisy fellows:
Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...
The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the c...
A Russian Joke
People start starving and getting mad at Nikita Khrushchev.
He gets his hammer and breaks the *in case of emergency* glass, inside there are two letters from Stalin.
He opens the first one, it says "Blame everything on me."
This works great. For a while.
Soon, everyone is...
A Tale Of Two Letters
Stalin, knowing that his time was short and that Khrushchev would be his eventual successor, summoned Nikita to a very private meeting. After telling Khrushchev how lonely it could get at the top, Stalin said: "I've left for you two letters containing my wisest counsel in the bottom drawer of the...
An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation
The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."
The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."
The great train of Communism grinds to a halt...
Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are riding on the great train of communism together when it suddenly grinds to a halt.
Stalin pokes his head out of the window and shouts, "Take the engineers behind the tool sheds and have them shot, then get new engineers!" But the train still does not move....
Once upon a time, JFK had this Rubik's cube that he was extremely fond of. He was also rumored to be having a rather stormy relationship with a woman named Laura (I'll call her Ms. L). JFK went for a walk with his dog ever day between 10 and 11. One day, when he wasn't home, Khrushchev came in, nail...