Jehova Jokes - 25 Hilarious Jehova Jokes

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My friend is a Jehova’s Witness.

He got pissed at me because he was trying to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

Jehova

This morning someone was ringing the doorbell, so I opened the door and there was a young man standing there. "Hello sir" he said, "I'm a Jehova's Witness". I invited him in, offered him something to drink and we sat down in the living room. "So, what would you like to talk about?" I asked. He looke...

What do you call Jehova's Witnesses in Chinese

Ding Dong

It must suck being a Jehova's witness right now.

The one time you know everyone's home but you can't go out...

Of all the holidays that jehova witnesses should celebrate...

... You'd think halloween would be it. Knocking on strangers doors, how could they pass that up?!

I have a friend that's a Jehova's Witness

This one time she got mad at me, because she told a knock knock joke, and I refused to answer.

I let a Jehova's Witness inside the other day and asked him, "what now?"...

He replied, "I'm not sure, I've never gotten this far before"

A Jehovas Witness knocked on my door the other day...

I said "Come in. Sit down. What would you like to talk about?"

He said "I don't know. I've never gotten this far before."

I just joined a gym for religious minorities.

Jehova's Fitness

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I hate when the Jehova’s witnesses come knocking at my door.

I mean their food cup was full when I last checked the basement.

Do you know why jehovas witnesses buildings don't have windows?

Its so God can't see what they're doing in there.

Another Jehova's Witness joke

A jehovah's witness knocks on a on a door and a man answers the door.
The jehovah's witness tells the man, "I'm from Jehovah's Witness and I have some stories I would like to share with you.

The man replies, "Sure, come on in. Have a seat on the couch. I just made some coffee would you...

Jehova's witnesses don't celebrate halloween

I guess they just don't appreciate random people coming up and knocking on their doors.

How many Jehovas witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change it, and two to go to your house and ask if you've seen the light.

What happens when an atheist and a Jehova’s witness have a son?

He knocks door to door for no reason at all.

Jehova's Witnesses: [Knock Knock]

Resident: Who's There?

JW: We're Jehova's Witnesses.

R: That's not funny. What's the punchline?

JW: Um. We're here to tell you to accept our Lord and Savior into your heart.

R: There it is.

Sicily isn't a safe place for Jehovah's Witnesses.

I've heard that Sicilians really don't like witnesses.

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An advent calendar for jehova's witnesses

Behind each door, someone tells you to fuck off.

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What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness with a Hell's Angel?

Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off.

If you get an e-mail that says “knock knock” don’t open it!

It’s jehova’s witness working from home

How do you call the best man at Jesus's wedding?

>!A Jehova Witness!<

Talking to my elderly neighbor on the balcony during quarantine and he goes:

"The worst has yet to come. - What will it be? - The Jehova Witnesses know we are all stuck at home!"

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Some Religious Truths

TAOISM: Shit happens

ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else

ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say...

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Advent calendar

I just got my new jehovas witness Advent calendar, everytime I open a door it says "fuck off, not today!"

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Door to door cheese salesman

I am a door to door cheese salesman, but I never get to sell any cheese, everyone always slams their door in my face. I have no idea why. All I say is "Hello, I'd like to talk to you about cheeses" and they slam the door while saying "Bloody Jehovas witnesses!".

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