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Indi Jokes

Told my friend that the wife and I have just come back from a trip in the West Indies.

He said "Jamaica"? I said "Nah, she went of her own accord"

What's your favorite indie film?

Mine is The Last Crusade

I told my friend that my girlfriend went on holiday to the west indies.

He said "Jamaica"...

I said, "No, she went of her own accord." I then added, "For her next holiday, she's off to one of the coldest states in America."

He said "which one"

I said "Alaska".

He said, "don't bother. I'll ask her, myself."

West Indies

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

I was talking to a friend when he said 'My wife's just gone to the West Indies' I asked 'Jamaica?'

'No, she went of her own accord' he replied

One morning the Viceroy of India went to visit his old army pal Major Barrington, who owned an orchard.

Walking through the orchard, the Viceroy marveled at all the different varieties of fruit: oranges, apples, bananas, pineapples, mangoes, guavas. "Why, you must have twenty different types of apples I've never heard of!" he remarked.

"Oh, that's nothing," replied the Major. "I'll bet you ther...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I working on an indie film about premature ejaculation

It's coming soon

I love indie movies

Me too, the best one is the first one with the snakes

Why do indie kids suck at karate?

They never got past the white belt.

Do you know why Indiana Jones never got married?

Bad dates

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Indiana Jones was a kid he had a collection of model trucks.

He loved those trucks and he and the neighbour's kid would spend hours playing with them on a special table that was used only for Indy's trucks. They would set up elaborate dioramas on the 'truck table', adding to the displays whenever Indy came into possession of a new truck.

Fast forward a...

How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb?

Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of.

What do you call a guy from Indiana who just became a father?

A Hoosier Daddy.

My newspaper had a story about a sovereign citizen “going commando” in public.

They got charged for indie-cent exposure.

Why did the hipster's stomach hurt?

He had indie-gestion.

What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:

These two:

"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."

"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cockney men were talking...

The first one says "So my wife sailed to the West Indies last year". The other one asks "Jamaica?". The first man answers "No, she went on her own accord".

Most Hipsters’ favourite movie is Raiders of the Lost Ark.

It’s the first indie film.

My hipster girlfriend keeps trying to convince me she isn’t a hipster

I think she’s just indie nial

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

Struggle is

Watching a match between England and West Indies, on a black and white television. Turn the brightness up and one team disappears, turn it down and the other does.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Why do hipsters like anal sex?

Because it's indie ass!

A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with?

Indie-cent exposure.

If you made a wall hanging out of cheap necklaces bought from the merch tables at small, underground rock concerts...

Would you have a Decoration of Indie Pendants?

Joke in real life

DISCLAIMER: THIS JOKE SUCKS BUT IT HAPPENED TO ME EARLIER TODAY

I'm currently in hospital being treated for a pulmonary embolism and the doctor ordered a echocardiogram for me.

When I was getting my heart looked at, it was the only place I've been in hospital playing music. Really coo...

A Short History Lesson

The old missionaries who arrived in the West Indies were the cannibals first taste of Christianity

What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing.

(Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show)

also

"My favorite indie band is palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

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