Inconsolable Jokes

Surgeon: "Ma'am! I think we may be able to save your husbands arm.

Wife: "Really?! Oh my god yes!!!"

Surgeon: "Right. Where would you like it sent?"

"Oh, the Humanities!" he cried.

He's inconsolable

inconsolable

One day, Jack died, leaving Nick inconsolable. A few weeks later, Nick heard someone calling his name. He looked up and standing on a cloud was his old pal.

“Nick,” Jack called down, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, there’s baseball in heaven!"

“Great!” said Nick. “Wha... read more

I'm inconsolable.

Throughout the next day, the kid stomps around the house, obviously angry with his father. Eventually, the mother starts casting resentful looks at her husband. He asks, “What’s up with you?” She replies:

“Will you please just give him his Xbox back? The kid’s inconsolable.”

Definitely not going to be released on Xbox and PlayStation though as it is inconsolable.

The couple were strolling down the boulevard one sunny afternoon. Up ahead, a delivery truck had a blowout and swerved across two lanes, finally jumping the curb and hitting the boy artichoke, knocking him flat.

It was awful. The ambulance came and the EMTs did their best to resuscitate him. ... read more

A man gets a call from the hospital telling him his wife has been hurt in an accident. He rushes to the hospital and is met by her doctor.
The doctor says “I’m sorry, she’s in really bad shape”. Husband starts to tear up and asks “how bad is it doctor?” The doctor tells him that she’s a parapleg... read more

An old lady visits her usual Doctor. And says " Doc, I've had a long hard life. I'm sick and tired of being constantly sick and tired. I just want to end all my suffering. So, I thought I would ask you where the best place to shoot myself would be. That would be quick and painless." To which the Doc... read more

Goes to the captain of the ship he is in charge of. With genuine sadness in his eyes he asks:

- Captain why do I have to be so short? I can't handle it anymore, everyone keeps making fun of me.

The captain, understanding his problem, replies.

- Listen closely. This ship is spec... read more

Tommo was a canary. Like his father, and his father before him, Tommo worked in the granite mines. Every morning, he would perch upon the shoulder of his favorite miner, and descend down, down into the deep.

Tommo had a lovely wife canary at home named Millet. Millet and Tommo had two sons... read more

A boy was living happily with his brother, mother, father, and dog. His father worked in a factory. The pay was ok, but the work was hard. One day, a man knocked at the door of the family. The man sat them down and informed them that the father had been caught in some machinery and had died. Th... read more

He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.

After an uneventful flight and some t... read more