Hitch Hiker Jokes - 8 Hilarious Hitch Hiker Jokes

I picked up a hitch hiker

The man got in my car and said "Thank you for picking me up, but I mean how do you know I am not a serial killer or something?"

I said "I don't know for sure, but the chances of 2 serial killers being in one car would be astronomical"

Saw this on Quora months ago.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Picked up a hitch hiker

***I pulled this on my boss last week. Luckily he is cool so I knew he wouldn't fire me or send me home.

The joke is way better in person and gets a huge laugh if told straight faced like a story that happened to you. Make sure you say the ending with plenty of gusto.

Here's how it go...

A trucker picks up a hitch hiker

They get a few miles down the road and the hitch hiker notices a monkey sitting on the truckers' head rest.

"Damn man! You got a pet monkey?"

"Well," the trucker replied, "it gets loney out here on the road. I needed some company. I don't like dogs or cats. And monkeys are easy to tr...

What do you say to a one-legged hitch hiker?

Hop in!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer picks up a hitch hiker on his way back to his farm.

The farmer asks "Do you need a place to stay for the night? You can sleep in my barn, but you have to leave tomorrow". The hitch hiker agree's to this and is happy to have a roof over his head.

The next morning, the farmer comes out to the barn and sees the hitch hiker sitting on a bucket in ...

An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg

And says "Oi! You look 'armless! 'Op in!"

I picked up a hitchhiker the other day.

He asked me "Aren't you a little wary of picking up hitch hikers? What if I'm a serial killer?"
To which I replied "What's the chance of two serial killers being in the same car at the same time?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is hitch hiking on a highway

When a man driving a hearse pulls up, "I got room in the back if you want to hop in." The driver says.
"That's a kind offer, but no thanks." Replies the hitch hiker, "I'm not going that far today."

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