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Hashem Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eldery Jew buys a lottery ticket every day from the small minimarket from the corner.

And every day he says the same thing: "Hashem (God), please let me win the lottery - if I do I will give a million dollars to charity"

And each day he loses. And still, every day he repeated the same prayer "Hashem, please help me win the lottery - I will give a million dollars to charity"...

A Orthodox Jewish man goes to his Rabbi

Man: "Rabbi, what should I do, my son has run off and is hanging around with Shiksen and Goyim."

Rabbi: "So, what do you ask me for? I once had a son, he too ran off to hang around with Shiksen and Goyim."

Man: "And what did you do about it?"

Rabbi: "I prayed to Hashem."
...

To support a friend, I went to a non-denominational event.

As it wasn't really my thing, I sat in the back. A priest came up to me and said, "The Lord has told me, today is the day that you will walk!" A little confused, I smiled at the priest, and told him I wasn't a cripple.

A little while later, a rabbi approached me and said, "By Hashem's word, ...

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